I am throwin' it back, and?

Be Happy.  Be Bright.  Be You.

Yes, I am going there.  Actually, I just went there.  It is #throwbackthursday around these parts.  Look at that skinny minnie.  Who is that girl?  I barely recognize her.  That girl, goodness, she had no idea what was awaiting her.  That girl was clueless.  Then again, we are all clueless at fifteen, aren't we?  At fifteen we walk around as though we own the world.  At fifteen we think we know exactly what we are doing.  At fifteen any advice is too much advice, and we are adamant about the fact that no one understands.  We are invincible.

Every so often I wonder what I would have done differently if I were given the chance.  What would I do if I were given a second chance at being fifteen.  Would I change anything?  Would I have made different choices?  And, every single time the answer is the same:  I don't know.  Yes, 'I don't know' is a perfectly legitimate answer.  Of course there are moments I wish I could take back.  The heartbreak, the tears, the pain I think I would have been okay without them.  Yet, I am afraid that if I changed even a single second of that girl's journey, that somehow the outcome of my present life would be altered.  You know, kind of like the 'butterfly effect'?  Would I be sitting at this exact place, at this  exact moment?  Would my fingers be hitting the keyboard writing out this very post?  Exactly, I do not know, and neither do you.

Now, if I had a chance to chat with that girl, well, that would be an entirely different story.  If I were given a chance I'd pick up the telephone and give her a ring.  I'd tell her to take more chances, risk it all, fall in love, fall out of love, and never, ever stop dreaming.  I would tell her to fall for the bad boy, love him like crazy, embrace the heartache, dust off her skirt, and just keep on looking forward.  Because the end game will be worth the wait and the juice  will definitely be worth the squeeze.

xoxo

Roller Coaster Junkie.

Busch Gardens

Yes, it is Wednesday.  Yes, I am still talking about Labor Day Weekend.  No, I do not care. The Santos' had an amazing Labor Day Weekend and I will talk about it for as long as I want (okay, no I won't, this is the last post!).  As I mentioned before, we made a spontaneous decision to turn our Labor Day Weekend into a quick Tampa Bay adventure.  A stop in Lake Wales and to Tampa we went!  I could barely contain my excitement.  I am a roller coaster junkie.

We had our weekend planned out pretty well.  Leave Saturday morning, stop at Bok Tower, and drive to Tampa Bay.  Hang out at the hotel, have dinner and go to bed.  On Sunday morning we woke up wide-eyed and bushy-tailed (me more than Felipi) and off to Busch Gardens we went.  Our day was amazeballs.  However, I most definitely underestimated the heat of a Florida August.  It-was-hot.  

At first I was fine.  The excitement was too great to realize I was slowly overheating.  At around three o'clock I was done.  I can't decide whether it was the amusement park food or the stress of the heat but I had a stomach flare up.  This left me super cranky.  Cranky enough where I didn't even want to wait to ride the Sheikra a second time (I love Sheikra).  Poor Felipi, he had to deal with a cranky, hot, and in pain Renata (not a good combination, trust me).

If you have ever had gastritis symptoms you know how I feel.  Think of a non-stop burning sensation in your stomach.  Intensify that pain times ten.  Add almost 100 degree weather with humidity and you've got certain disaster.  I am a trooper though.  Even though I was hot, in pain, and exhausted I did not let that stand in the way of enjoying the ride on those roller coasters.  No stomach pain could ruin that!

Stomach flare-up and all, our day could not have been better.  Well, my stomach could have been fine, I would have been okay with that.  And, I think August is off limits for theme parks.  No matter how many bottles of water you drink, those fans blowing hot air just do not help.  Smelly, sweaty, loud, obnoxious individuals waiting in a 20 minute line just doesn't do it for me.  Now those kangaroos?  Well, I may have wanted to bring one home.  Adopt a kangaroo organization where may I find you?

Heed my advice, do not under any circumstance take a trip to an amusement park during the summer months.  Avoid them like the plague.  Now, November, well, November is a good month for just about anything.  Go in November.  Busch Gardens, until next time.

xoxo

Look at that kangaroo?  He is just asking to come home with us.

Bok Tower Gardens.

"I come here to find myself.  It is so easy to get lost in the world."

John Burroughs

The Santos' spent an adventurous Labor Day weekend.  Last Tuesday after dinner as we spent the last few hours hanging out before bed my husband had a genius idea.  He turned to me and said, "Babe, why don't we go to Busch Gardens this weekend?".  Say roller coasters and I'm in.  So, the very next day the hotel was booked and we were ready to go (yes, we wanted to leave the very next day).  Major bummer that we had to endure three whole days before hitting the road.

Saturday morning we headed out towards Tampa.  Before arriving at our final destination we made a quick detour in Lake Wales, Florida.  Hidden in Lakes Wales is Bok Tower Gardens.  Never heard of it?  Till last week neither had I.  However, if you ever find yourself near Lake Wales you MUST go.  Bok Tower Gardens is a botanical garden and bird sanctuary.  The tower is built upon Iron Mountain, one of the highest points of peninsular Florida.  Bok Tower Gardens is also considered a National Historic Landmark.  It is also in the running to become one of the Eighth Wonders of the World.

In one word the garden is magnificent.  It is a true hidden gem in the state of Florida.  Walking hand-in-hand with my husband while enjoying peace and serenity is absolutely the icing on an already amazing day.  And the Pinewood Estate on the property?  Beautiful. We also met a kind older woman named Ruth.  Ruth is an 86 year old volunteer who calls Bok Tower Gardens heaven.  She was truly an inspiring woman who made me realize that getting older does not have to be something worth dreading.  Ruth, thank you.

Before this weekend I would never have suspected that our Sunshine State was home to a place filled with such beauty.  Nature truly has a way of bringing you back home to reality.  Knowing that one man wanted a beautiful place to exist for the benefit of others left me in awe.  Again, humanity has surprised me.  I hope that I too one day can make someone feel a little more optimistic.

Enjoy the photos of our journey through Bok Tower Gardens.  And if they don't impress you, well, take a drive there and check it out for yourself.  Your heart, your mind, your soul will thank me.

xoxo

Happy Labor Day.

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Happy, happy Labor Day!  The one day out of the entire year you celebrate work by NOT working.  Absolutely incredible.  Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country (according to the U.S. Department of Labor).  I mean, I could not have said it any better than that, could I?

So, kick back and relax.  No matter what your occupation.  No matter how big or small your contribution, you have added to the collective greatness of this amazing nation.  Give yourself a pat on the back!  You are awesome.  

Labor Day also traditionally signifies the end of summer.  I mean sure Fall does not actually start till September 22nd, however, to me Fall started three weeks ago.  And, the whole "no white" after Labor Day?  Well, I have six words: I can do what I want.  That includes wearing white whenever and wherever I feel like.  

xoxo

What the duck!

"Never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret."

Pretty Little Liars

This past Tuesday was the summer finale for Pretty Little Liars.  My thoughts?  Well, honestly, they were a tad inappropriate.  At the very end of the episode I may or may not have screamed, "WHAT THE DUCK!" (except it was actually a word that starts with the letter F).  I mean, seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  This big reveal was made and all I have are MORE questions.  And, if you think the Halloween episode is going to answer some of those questions you are wrong.  Very, very wrong (I've done my research).

In order to get any sort of answer you will have to wait till January for the winter premier.  Now, if you are anything like me (obsessive and crazy) you googled the ish out of all the possible -A theories on the web.  Dudes, unless you are willing to waste a good hour of your life, don't even attempt it.  You will be sucked into a world of You Tube videos and Tumblrs.  And, though the theories are quite interesting, they will only fuel your anxiety.  Trust me, been there, done that.

My friend and I are pretty sure that Aria is actually -A and surprisingly there are many clues to support this theory.  Don't believe me?  Google 'Aria is A theory'.  Watch the videos, all the videos. Your mind will be blown.  BLOWN!  The only question in my mind is what is her motive?  Sure, these theories state that she has a multiple personality disorder.  However, what trauma would have caused her mental illness to poke its pretty little head?  

And, if Ezra is -A, or is part of the -A team where does his relationship with Aria fit in?  And if they are both members of the -A team why are they doing this?  Bonnie and Clyde?  Was Ezra the older man Ali was dating?  If so, and Ali is really alive why did she not warn Aria about his level of crazy?  You see, questions, upon questions, upon questions, upon questions.  It is a never ending list of why this and why that.  I am exhausted just thinking about it.

WHY?  All  I want to know is why.  Oh, and is Ali alive?  I mean, I think she is, yet, anything is possible in Rosewood.  Is she dead?  Do the girls see her ghost?  Wouldn't that make them all crazy?  Does Ali have a twin?  Or are all the twin references actually pointing towards Aria's split personality?  Is Cecee working for -A and for Red Coat?  Is Red Coat Ali?  What are Melissa and Wren up to?   And who killed IAN?  Have we forgotten the mischief and chaos -A has wreaked?  Have we forgotten that Ian was killed?  I certainly have not!  Marlene King, I need some answers.    

Obsessive much?  Definitely.  Ashamed?  Not a single bit.  I am 27 years old and am utterly obsessed with a teeny bopper show #truestory 

Sue me.

xoxo

Thank you, whoever you are.

Today I came across "A Little Book of Thank Yous: Letters, Notes & Quotes" by Addie Johnson.  It was almost as though I were meant to find it.  The book was sitting on a shelf at work asking to be taken home.  A shelf mind you, that I stand in front of at least three times a day.  A shelf I have stared at while waiting for the printer to do its job.  This 127 page book has been sitting there all this time waiting for me to notice.  

Coincidence?  Hmmm, a past version of me would probably think so.  Today I am not so sure.  Last Friday was rough.  Last Friday was not the kind you wish for.  Then yesterday morning I found a blue bag filled with chocolates and a card.  It was simple.  A simple thank you.  And, it was all it took for me to realize that gratitude comes in many forms.  Sometimes the smallest of gestures are the ones that hold the most meaning.  They are the ones you recall years and years from now.

There are moments in life that all a person needs is a thank you.  Those two words make a world of difference.  Below are five quotes that I am thankful for existing.  Read them.  Share them. Love them.  

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them"

john fitzgerald kennedy

"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal"

albert pike

"The greatest gift is a portion of thyself"

ralph waldo emerson

"How far that little candle throws his beans! So shines a good deed in a naughty world"

shakespeare

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is "thank you", it will be enough"

meister eckhart

Lastly, one that really hit close to home.

"I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them.  The gratitude has finally conquered the loss"

rita mae brown

It is all about the little things.  And, if you find yourself coming back to my little space on the internet, thank you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Whoever you may be, I am so glad you are here.  

xoxo

In Hope I trust.

"Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism.  It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."

Vaclav Havel

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This entire last month has been entirely too strange for words.  Strange, there truly is no better way to describe it.  Day-after-day-after-day-after-day, no matter how great the attempt, I always felt the same.  Distraught.  Defeated.  Drained.  There was no escape, no running away, my mind kept pulling me  back every time I tried.  Whenever I put pen-to-paper I found my ideas were sullen and filled with sadness.  Try as I might, I couldn't think of anything positive to say.  I could not think of joy.  A small part of me felt as though I were betraying my grandmother if I were happy.  A part of me felt guilty and torn.  How could I be laughing and having a good time when she is gone?  I felt guilty for living.  

It almost did not seem fair.  Why did she have to go?  Why couldn't it have just been a scare?  Why, why, why?  I know, it is just part of the grieving process.  It seems almost inconceivable that one day I will accept that death, like birth,  is just an inevitable part of this journey.  

And, so, I hope that today will be the last of these sad posts (at least for a very good while).  There will be days where it may seem impossible to be happy, I know, that is life.  However, I will not allow those feelings to consume me.  My grandmother made it her mission to see the ones she loved happy.  Who am I to disappoint her?  

I have found that in hoping for better days, those days are bound to come. I have found that hope exists even in the darkest of days.  I have found that it is true, hope is the last thing that dies.  I hope, I hope, I hope.  I hope that everything will be okay.

xoxo