This is a Special PSA.

"A person's a person, no matter how small".
-Dr.Seuss

This is an urgent PSA (public service announcement) to all the momma's of extremely chubby children.  If your child is left with me longer than five minutes I cannot guarantee the safety of his/her chunky rolls.  If your baby has chunky legs, chunky arms, chunky cheeks, chunky hands and chunky feet I will, and I repeat, I will bite them.  I mean, who can contain themselves around such chunkiness?  I most certainly cannot.  Chubby babies everywhere are in danger of my uncontrollable desire.  It's difficult to explain and even more difficult to comprehend.  However, whenever I find myself near a chunky monkey all I can think of doing is squeezing and biting (the urge is all consuming).  A whole lot of squeezing and a whole lot of biting is all my mind can compute.  I just can't help it.  It's not as bad as you think though.  I never leave any marks, ever.  And, as for the biting, no skin is left with any indentations.  Well, there you have it, mommas.  I have forewarned you.  Do not.  I will say this again, DO NOT leave your child around me if he looks anything like the baby in the picture above.  Unless of course, you don't mind a little baby squeezing here and there.  And by a little I mean a lot (I KNOW, I KNOW, so bad).  But, come on now, leaving a little chunk monster around me unsupervised is like leaving out a box of godiva truffles around a chocoholic.  You are asking for those truffles to be eaten.  Honestly, it is all out of love.  The love of chunkiness.
xoxo

Who Is Your Doppelgänger?

Doppelgänger: A ghostly double or counterpart of a living person.

Alexandra Chando, Nina Dobrev.  Nina Dobrev, Alexandra Chando?  Which is which?  Who is who?  Okay, so obviously Alexandra Chando is to the left and Nina Dobrev is to the right.  Clearly.  But darlings you have met your doppelgänger.  Separated at birth, perhaps?  The resemblance is eerily uncanny.  Just look at them.  I mean, lookat them.  Even the smirk is remarkably familiar.  Have you ever wondered whether someone out there roaming the planet looks just-like-you?  Kinda freaky, isn't it?  I mean, think about it.  Somewhere in this vast universe there may be a someone who some may say is your long lost twin.  You know, the whole, "Wow, you two look like you were separated at birth" sort of thing.  I don't know about you but I sorta think about this quite often.  What if there is a girl that looks exactly like me? Where does she live?  What is she like?  What life path has she chosen?  Or, better yet, what path has life chosen for her?  This notion of a being with the same physical traits as you walking the Earth boggles my mind.  I did always want a twin sister.  Oh, the havoc we could have wreaked.  It would have been marvelous.  However, I am still on the look-out for my double mint twin.  Personally, I don't think I resemble anyone.  I have that whole unique thing going on (at least I'd like to think so).  Do you have a celebrity look-alike? If so, please, do share!
xoxo

Louboutins, Thanks, But No Thanks.

"A good shoe is one that doesn't dress you but undresses you.  So if a woman is naked, and wearing shoes, she should still look nude."
-Christian Louboutin

The Ziggles.  Yes, the Ziggles is the one reason why I turn down the shoe with the shiny red sole.  Don't understand?  Well, the adorable ball of fluff I call Ziggy Marley has a thing for shoes (and I don't mean wearing them).  Not any kind of shoes.  Not the husband's shoes.  No, that would be too much, I dunno, luck?  Ziggy only likes my shoes (and by like I mean likes to eat).  I've lost count as to how many shoes have perished at the ferocious jaws of the Ziggle monster.  Seriously.  You'd think I would have learned my lesson after the first, second,third pair of shoes, right?  Yeah, no (bad habits die hard?).  I still continue to leave my babies lying around.  I'll come home after a long day of work take off my heels only to find that the moment I do Ziggy comes and snatches them up.  He then proceeds to run around the house shoe in mouth as his teeth sink in the outer covering.  And, honestly, do I really want to see $800 bucks be used as a chew toy? The answer would be no.  No, I would not.  Because you see, at the end of the day, a shoe is just a shoe (even if it costs about as much as what you may pay for rent).  And, shiny red sole or not, I'd probably leave them at the edge of the stairs as well.  Just waiting for Ziggy to find them.  And, considering Ziggy has a nose for the finer things in life it'd be safe to say he'd go for the Louboutins before my Havaianas.  I've taught him well.  

xoxo 

Hello there, Mr.President.

"To stand in silence when they should be protesting makes cowards out of men."
-Abraham Lincoln

Photo courtesy of my friend, Rola.  She had an awesome view.

Don't worry.  This isn't going to be a post dedicated to flaunting my political stance.  No, no, and no.  Democrat, Republican, Left, Right, Blue, Red, tonight, at this very moment it does not matter.  Lincoln said, "The time comes upon every public man when it is best for him to keep his lips closed."  Well, said Abraham, well said.  So, don't get your panties in a twist.  You can keep your opinion and I will keep mine (to myself).

But today was a day unlike any other (I just had to share).  Barack Obama had a rally in my backyard (obviously not literally).  Mr.President had a post-debate rally at the Tennis Center in Delray Beach, Florida.  I woke up at five this morning, grabbed my ticket and headed out the door.  Yeah, I waited in line for quite sometime.  Yeah, I almost had my foot run over by some careless driver.  Yeah, I still had to go to work after it was all said and done.  Yeah, I am literally a walking zombie (I am not even sure how I haven't fallen face first on my lap top).  Yet, despite all of my exhaustion, it was absolutely worth it.  The energy that surrounded us in that tennis center was undeniably the most exhilarating sensation ever.  Ever.  The momentum made the exhaustion disappear (I wish I could say the same once I sat at my desk).  And, come on.  He is the president of our country, it was an honor to witness history unfolding itself before my eyes.  Trust me when I say this, they weren't lying when they said he could, "Fire it Up".  Because, darlings, we were fired up.  True story.

Barack Obama you rock!

I've said this before and I will say this again, my opinions belong to me and me alone.  I am in no way whatsoever making an attempt to persuade you otherwise.  My father always said there were three topics never  to be discussed; religion, sports and politics (at least not in public).

Dreamland awaits me.
xoxo

A Spoonful of Vinegar.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
-Wayne W. Dyer

Vinegar, on my face?  Come again?  It took me some time to wrap my mind around this notion that vinegar could be used as toner.  And, since I am totally for trying new things (totally) it seemed like a grand idea.  Organic apple cider vinegar, how bad could you be?  Of course I only made this decision upon reading many, many, many reviews.  And those reviews were raving.  It seemed that I was out of the loop (I could not believe it).

Apparently, apple cider vinegar has amazing health benefits.  Not only can it be used to clear skin blemishes, but, you can drink it.  Yes, drink it.  Apple cider vinegar can be used as a remedy for heartburn, to improve bowel irregularity, helping the body to breakdown fat instead of storing it and it helps to alleviate joint pain & stiffness.  Basically, this stuff is pretty amazing.

So, one afternoon I made the decision that I would incorporate apple cider vinegar as a part of my daily skincare routine.  Yup.  Yes, I did.  And, I used it for a couple of weeks (it was great).  Until one day my sweet husband told me I smelled like a salad.  Yes, a salad.  I must admit, the strong scent is a bit difficult to grow accustomed to.  I caught myself spraying a tad bit more of Coco Mademoiselle in the mornings to mask the odor (it didn't work).  So, as quick as it came, it went.  Though, I must say, it did seem to be working.  And if you can get past smelling like lunch you should definitely try it.  Give it a week, a month, two months, your skin will thank you.  I for one had to say adios.  I much prefer my husband's kisses.
xoxo

Um, how do you spell that?

"I was not particularly bright, I wasn`t very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid."
-Uma Thurman

Uma Karuna Thurman, it does not matter one bit what you looked like as a "kid".  Because, darling, look at you now.  You are beautiful.  However, this is absolutely not about your physical beauty.

Okay, so, aside from giving birth I truly believe that naming a child is the most difficult thing ever.  Ever.  Like, I am not so sure how I feel about taking on the responsibility of giving a human a name he/she must live with for the rest of his/her life.  Yeah.  Okay.  So, you can totally get a name change as an adult.  But, those formidable years, you are stuck with whatever odd/crazy/weird/plain/normal moniker your parents chose for you.

Ugh.  Such a terrible feat.  And, that is where Ms.Thurman comes in.  What is it with celebrities, actually, people and naming their children these kooky names. Have you heard what Uma named her daughter? Well Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson (what a mouthful), welcome to the world.  You will have some fun learning to spell your name in kindergarten.  My question is, was that necessary?  Probably not.  And my dad thought having three names was too long (thus why I do not have a middle name).  Clearly, he was not up with the times.  Man, does that make me like un-cool or something?  The more names the more personalities bestowed upon you?

Yet, Uma is not the only one.  And, it isn't just celebrities.  This year alone there have been names such as Future, Cougar, Moo and Eh given to babies around the nation.  Eh?  Like, are you for real?  I'd ask to be home schooled.  And, to think, that at one time I thought being named Renata was weird.  Is it about being eccentric?  Or is it just about wanting to one-up the crazies before you? Then again, you could have been born into the Zappa family.   Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen, where are you?

xoxo

Eureka!

"You better not mess with me because I take myself very seriously."
-Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart.  I used to think we had a love/hate relationship.  But, honestly, I think it is safe to say that we can take away the love.  I tried.  Oh, I did try.  But, I-just-can't.  Last night the husband and I watched "Snow White and the Hunstman".  Not my choice.  Clearly.  During the atrocious portrayal of Snow White given by Miss.Stewart I had a moment. A light bulb went on.  Eureka!  Finally I understood what was wrong with the emotionless Kristen.  Constipation.  That strained face, that obnoxious moaning, the ridiculous trembling.  Kristen must have problems with her bowel movement.  For sure.  Like, it explains everything.  Kristen, darling, there are remedies for that.  Take a break from being such a wet blanket and stroll down to the drugstore.  Have you heard of Metamucil?  Fiber one?  How about laxatives?  Suppositories?  Honey, they would all help to soften the load (if you know what I mean).  And, perhaps, that look you have that you haven't pooped in a week will disappear.  Because, let's face it.  The only time you actually look like the Kristen below is with the handy-dandy help of a little thing called photoshop.  It really does do miracles.  The rest of us, well, we know that "constipated" is your signature look.
xoxo