This is a Special PSA.

"A person's a person, no matter how small".
-Dr.Seuss

This is an urgent PSA (public service announcement) to all the momma's of extremely chubby children.  If your child is left with me longer than five minutes I cannot guarantee the safety of his/her chunky rolls.  If your baby has chunky legs, chunky arms, chunky cheeks, chunky hands and chunky feet I will, and I repeat, I will bite them.  I mean, who can contain themselves around such chunkiness?  I most certainly cannot.  Chubby babies everywhere are in danger of my uncontrollable desire.  It's difficult to explain and even more difficult to comprehend.  However, whenever I find myself near a chunky monkey all I can think of doing is squeezing and biting (the urge is all consuming).  A whole lot of squeezing and a whole lot of biting is all my mind can compute.  I just can't help it.  It's not as bad as you think though.  I never leave any marks, ever.  And, as for the biting, no skin is left with any indentations.  Well, there you have it, mommas.  I have forewarned you.  Do not.  I will say this again, DO NOT leave your child around me if he looks anything like the baby in the picture above.  Unless of course, you don't mind a little baby squeezing here and there.  And by a little I mean a lot (I KNOW, I KNOW, so bad).  But, come on now, leaving a little chunk monster around me unsupervised is like leaving out a box of godiva truffles around a chocoholic.  You are asking for those truffles to be eaten.  Honestly, it is all out of love.  The love of chunkiness.
xoxo