Note to Husband.

"If I get married, I want to be very married"
-Audrey Hepburn

Husband.  Oh, husband.  So, let us square a little something.  You are never.  Never, ever, ever.  Did I say never?  Allowed to go away for the weekend.  Nope.  I-do-not-think-so.  Like, what were you thinking?  What was I thinking?  On a weekend with 60% chance of rain.  Are you crazy?  You must be.  I must be.  Have we forgotten I am not a pool girl?  The pool and I, we are like frenemies.  Yeah, I said it.  I HATE, okay, maybe just really dislike the pool.  Or the rain.  Or the pool.  Yeah, the pool.  Definitely the pool.  Rain drizzles, wood chips flying, muddiness,  soggy mulch, ew, not my thing.  I think the house owes me a manicure.  So, honey, no more leaving.  Okay? Got it, good!  Plus, the Ziggles and I missed you too much.  Too much.  We like you too much, nah, actually we love you.
xoxo