Words for Wednesday.

(As organized as my kitchen will be on this Wednesday and that is okay)

What do you think about Wednesdays?  I am yet to decide how I feel.  Even with its hefty significance (The work week is halfway over) I just can't seem to fall in love.  You see, I don't know about you, but by the time Wednesday rolls around I am in need of some major inspiration.  The kind of pick-me-up that not even a venti toffee nut latte could handle on its own.  No way, no how.  

When I am looking for inspiration I search for words.  Words that are going to be with me forever.  Words strung so perfectly together you can't help but smile.  The other day I found the perfect combination of words.  Our encounter was what one would call serendipitous.  And, when I come across something so grand I cannot help but want to share.  I write on post its and random pieces of paper.  I share them with anyone and everyone.

You see, these words were more than fitting for the way I have been feeling recently.  In those moments of complete silence where your thoughts are so loud you can't help but listen, I find myself questioning, doubting, and underestimating my worth.  Then almost as if by fate I come across this beautiful poet whose words speak directly to my soul.  

It is written, "“Will it make me something? Will I be something? Am I something? And the answer comes, already am, always was, and I still have time to be”, Anis Mojgani you slay me.

I think I'll set aside all Wednesdays from here on out for powerful words.  For words so great they will spark a fire in your soul.

xo

Renata

I'm a mother effin' mombie.

Let me state for the record (my record, obviously) that I wrote this entire post twice-yesterday. Mysteriously, it disappeared from my drafts, $&%#. I can think up quite a few choice words for how I felt in that moment, but, for the sake of keeping this zone PG we'll just stick with, gosh DARN it (emphasis on the darn). 

So, let's talk about sleep. Or in the case at mi casa right now, the lack thereof. I had no idea that the sleep patterns of an almost seven month old was absolutely unpredictable. These last few nights have been rough. My body feels as though it spent a week gettin' down in Vegas sans the rum and cokes. Before you get all excited about how I'm a new mom and these things are to be expected, let me just say that, yes, I knew to expect this. What I didn't expect was to be so divided as to how to deal with said sleeplessness.

You see, at the moment I feel as though I am suffering from a multiple personality disorder. My 3:30 AM self has gotten to her breaking point. She cannot possibly take one more night of fiesta a la Livi. She NEEDS to sleep more than a two hour stretch. My 3:30 AM self purchases things like the "Sleepeasy Solution" book and promises that tomorrow sleep training will commence. Hasty decisions made after sleep walking and banging into bedposts to make it to my babe. My exhausted, disheveled, breast milk smelling, pony tail wearing self knows Livi doesn't need to nurse multiple times throughout the night. She knows that 12:30 and 3:30 AM feedings can essentially be eliminated. She's gaining weight and eats plenty throughout the day. My 3:30 AM self knows that sleeping through the night is possible (it's happened multiple times). 

Then my 10:45 AM, super crunchy, wannabe hippy, no perfume wearing, won't feed my child sugar till she's one (longer if I can help it), takes a power nap and emerges a changed woman. She sits down little miss bags under her eyes and calmly shows her the alternative. Maybe sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone; one we have yet to reach (But we will!). Maybe my sweet babe needs those extra calories and those extra cuddles and her momma's touch.  Maybe this is just the way of the world.  Some babes sleep through the night, other babes do not; you get the picture.  My 10:45 AM self accepts that sleepless nights and drowsy days are just another aspect to parenting.  She wants to say, "Pick up that baby, she will only be this little once."  My 10:45 AM self wants to hug my 3:30 AM self and tell her that THIS is PARENTHOOD. 

Then we have my 5:00 PM self.  She is the semi crunchy, semi practical, trust your gut, go with the flow kind of gal.  My 5:00 PM self says take it one day and one hour at a time.  She understands that there will be good days and bad days.  My 5:00 PM self is comfortable in knowing that when the time comes she will know which route to take.   She believes in gentle sleep training when the time is right.  She gets that it isn't entirely one way or the other.  My 5:00 PM self is okay with a little mixed approach.  She wants to scream, "THIS TOO SHALL PASS."

At this very second, my 10:30 PM self is saying, "Good night, good luck, now get your ass to bed (okay, so we are keeping it PG-13). For once I don't feel at all divided.  

Mombie (mom zombie) signing out.

xo

Renata

A very Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday, mummy.  You were born to be my mother and I was born to be your daughter.  Happy Birthday, mummy   I thought I understood unconditional love; I didn't, not until I became a mother. Happy Birthday, mummy.  You are everything I hope to be.  Happy Birthday, mummy.  Thank you, for all you've done and all you continue to do.  I don't say this enough but I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  Happy Birthday, to the most beautiful, the  most special, the most wonderful, the most awesome momma there is.  You are my jam!

xo

Renata, your favorite child ;)

Monday.

Source

Every Monday I find myself wishing, praying, hoping that the day will zoom by (And I am not one to wish time away).  Since the end of my maternity leave, the close of a weekend has been hard.  Two whole days with my munchkin and then back to work for five days?  It will drive any momma mad.  

Then the day is over as quickly as it started and I am reunited with my babe.  I cherish those few hours we have at the end of the day.  I kiss her and hug her and squeeze her.  Against all her protesting, I cuddle her close; she is too busy rolling all over the place to want to sit still in my arms.  Then dinner must be made, bottles, pacifiers, and pump parts must be washed.  Baths are given, books are read, and jammies are put on.  We sing songs and then I nurse my babe into a state of drowsiness.  I miss her as soon as she falls asleep; though I would do anything to sleep myself.

The kitchen is cleaned, the dishes are put away, and the bags are prepared for our morning adventure.  Showers are taken, teeth are brushed, moisturizer is lathered, and one more peek into the crib is given.  I slowly and quickly fall into my bed.  My eyes begin to close as my head hits the pillow.  

How did I make it through this day?  I haven't a clue.  Thank you, God.  Let's do it again tomorrow.  

I am here to say that I am with you mommas.  My bones ache too as I lay in bed and contemplate hitting repeat, over and over again.  You can do it.  I can do it.  We can do it.  Then I remember that quote, and it is true.  I am not given anything I can't handle, and neither are you. 

But let's be real, this Monday thing, it's for the birds.

xx

Renata

Little Lady O is Six Months!

"Happy Girls are the Prettiest Girls"

-Audrey Hepburn

Little Miss O, you are a half-year old.  Momma cannot believe it has been six months since she first held your little hand.  You are every smile, every laugh, every great thing in my life.  I feel like I've known you forever.  It has been a ride more magical than I could have dreamed.  Every morning I rush to your room and hope you'll flash me one of your gummy smiles.  I love you more than words could ever do justice.   

Weight:  Little lady O is weighing in at 17 lbs 4 oz.  She is exactly 10 lbs heavier than the day she was born.  She has rolls upon rolls and I love it!  It is incredibly difficult to keep from from squeezing her.  And those cheeks!  Ah, dreamy I tell ya.

Eating:  I decided to wait until Liv turned six months to feed her any solids.  So, she has been exclusively breastfed at home and fed expressed breastmilk at daycare.  Thankfully for all of us she does well with breast and bottle.  However, it is important to mention that she will take a bottle from anyone but me.  She knows I have the goods and refuses to take anything else; the girl knows what she wants.

Wearing:  All of her footie pajamas are size 9 M.  Then she varies from 6-9 M to 9 M; sizing is a little loopy.  Honestly, I think it all depends on the brand of clothing.  So, I don't trust sizes in any way whatsoever.  

Doing:  She can ALMOST, almost sit completely unassisted.  By this I mean that she sits all by herself for a few minutes till she decides she is over it and throws herself back (on purpose). It scares the living crap out of me; she just thinks it is the funniest thing ever and laughs.  Oh, and it is absolutely important to mention that she now loves being on her tummy.  She can roll over from tummy to back and back to tummy like a boss.  The best thing about this?  The way she smiles as if to say, "Yay, I did it, momma!" She is so proud of herself and I cannot help but applaud and squeal like a crazy momma.  A crazy momma whose heart is about to burst with so much joy.

Sleep: The most dreaded topic of conversation, ever. Half of the time I feel like parents lie because they don't want to be the one to have the non sleeping baby. Well, here is the thing. Liv isn't a bad sleeper, actually she's a great sleeper. She goes down without a fuss and our routine is pretty much set in stone. The problem? She is an inconsistent sleeper. She will sleep trough the night for a few days and then go back to waking one to two times.  It's like Russian roulette, and it is a total mind %$*@, if you know what I mean.  This topic deserves an entire post of it's own,  which it shall have. Because I know, like me, many mommas feel alone in this department. 

Highlights: This past month has been an incredibly special one.  Liv met her great grandfather (My maternal grandfather), she celebrated her first Christmas, and she slept through her first New Year's Eve Fiesta.  Well, she woke up at around 11:40 but I was NOT about to let her get her party on.  So, we spent the last twenty minutes of 2014 nursing.  It was an incredible moment to share.  As I sat there staring at my beautiful daughter I could not help but feel blessed.  Our family is so blessed.  And I cannot wait for all the moments to be made this year, I'm a mush, get over it.

Parent Moment:  Even though I am well aware that there are many bumps and bruises in our future, I can't help but try my very hardest to keep my munchkin away from harm.  Then I go to put her in the carseat and bump her head on the ceiling of the car.  There weren't any tears (not from Liv, anyway).  I cried the entire drive to daycare.  I'm pretty sure those hormones haven't settled themselves (that is my story and I am sticking to it, tee hee).  

This month has been so much fun (though I think I am going to be saying this every month of your entire life).  To see your personality develop has been one of the best experiences of my life.  I can already tell that you are a little Sassy McSassy Pants.  For example, you have a fascination with water bottles.  As soon as you see a water bottle YOU must reach for it and grab it.  If I don't let you have it you put on a tantrum.  There are screams, fake tears and a couple back throws (It is quite the scene).  Oh, and excuse the poor quality of the photographs, they were taken with my phone (I had plans of uploading the ones from my camera, but exhaustion got the best of me, again).

Oh, and Liv has finally discovered the sticker on her onesie.  Monthly photo sessions will never be the same again ;)

xo

Renata

Happy Half Birthday to Us.

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."

-Osho

This morning my sweet little awoke to the sound of my voice singing "Happy Half Birthday."  She looked up at me and smiled, a smile so full of love, and in that moment I understood.  I understood what they meant when they said that time would fly. The days, the weeks, the months, where have they gone?  It is all going by too quickly.  Don't believe me?  Have a baby.  If only I could make time stand still.  Just hold on to my baby for a little while longer.  Too soon the day will come where she no longer will want to be held and cuddled.  Too soon the day will come where she will no longer need me to rock her to sleep. Too soon, too soon.

Half of a year has flown by.  I've been a mother for 185 days; how can that be true?  These six months have been a roller coaster ride of emotions.  Every passing day I fall more madly in love with this little girl.  It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it.  So, today is a celebration.  A day to celebrate not only the half birthday of the sweetest girl in the world, but a day to recognize the most joyous day of my life.  I was reborn the day I held my baby for the first time.  We locked eyes and I knew, fate does exist.  She was meant to be mine, and I was meant to be her momma.

So, happy half birthday to us. 

Momma and Bebe Loves.

The things we love...

(This photograph was taken in St. Augustine when little Miss O was two months old)

In just a few days it will be six whole months since I've become a mum.  Don't get me wrong, I am by no means an expert, and I don't claim to be.  Yet, there are things that after these months I've realized work pretty well for us.  Again, my experience will not be your experience.  Every mother and every baby is different.  However, if you are anything like me, you will want to know as much about mothers and babies as you can.  

During my pregnancy I read blogs upon blogs upon blogs.  It was nice to hear the firsthand account of a mother's experience with certain products.  Even though there were products I tried out anyway (I am stubborn, trust me) it was a huge help when encountering the overwhelming world of all things baby.  Don't believe me?  Have you been to Babies R' Us?  Yeah, exactly.  So, here we go.

Let me start with the basics.  Diapers and Wipes.  Who knew that choosing diapers and wipes would be such a daunting task.  Pampers, Huggies, The Honest Company, Earth's Best, BabyGanics, and the list goes on and on.  After a lot of reading and much consideration we decided to go with The Honest Company diapers.  I am happy to report that we have no regrets.  Don't get me wrong, we have had a few leaks here and there (Mostly overnight).  Yet, I cannot think of anything else I would want on my munchkin's bum.  Little lady O has sensitive skin and knowing that there are no harsh chemicals on her soft skin gives me peace.  And, who can resist the adorable patterns?  Not this girl.  Now to the wipes.  Again, the options are endless.  We use Water Wipes and Honest Wipes.  Here and there we will use BabyGanics Wipes, the travel packs, mostly.  However, hands down my favorite are the Water Wipes.  They are thick and cloth-like and are the most safe next to homemade.  I also feel absolutely comfortable cleaning Miss O's face should the situation ever arise.  These may not work for you, but they have worked great for us.  Water Wipes can be ordered online or found at some Target stores.  Thankfully, I have found two Target stores nearby that keep them in stock.  In my opinion they are a MUST HAVE!

Bottles.  Again, it felt like there were a million options and even when I made a decision I was still nervous it wasn't the right one.  From the moment I became pregnant I knew that I wanted to breastfeed.  Even though breastfeeding was on the top of my "must-do" list, I knew that eventually I would have to go back to work (Sigh).  Going back to work meant that my sweet baby would have to take a bottle.  Before going back to work I tried to give her a bottle a couple of times with no success.  Apparently, when it comes to mum Baby O only wanted the boob (It is still like this to this day).  At first this made me extremely nervous.  I mean, how would she eat if she wouldn't take a bottle (Cue paranoid first time momma tears).  However, my mom and husband were both able to feed her expressed breast milk and we have been doing great at daycare (Thankfully). So, what has worked for us are the Tommee Tippee bottles.  Though, looking back at it now, I would probably have tried to get her to feed from the Medela bottles (Since I have a Medela breast pump).  Honestly, the amount of bottles and breast pump parts I wash Monday through Friday is borderline ridiculous.  It would probably have saved me a TON of time had Baby O been accustomed to Medela bottles.  You live and you learn, ladies.  You live and you learn.

Have you heard about the Rock'n Play?  Yeah, I hadn't either.  Then one fine day I read a blog post about how this magical sleeper was the only thing that would make this blogger's sweet child sleep.  Um, sleep, sign me up.  So, of course, I made sure it was the first item I registered for.  We have the Little Lamb Rock'n Play and still use it for naps here and there.  When we first came home from the hospital it was the place I would keep Baby O in during the day.  We live in a two-story house and I was not comfortable leaving my babe in her room while I was downstairs.  Enter the Rock'n Play.  We never used it for sleep at night, though, many people I know have (They also raved about it).  I also was afraid she would grow accustomed to sleeping in it all night leading to a nightmare when it was time to take it away.  Though, I may have the same problem for naps when she no longer fits in it (oy vey).  That is a story for a different day.

Strollers.  Picking a stoller was almost as hard as picking my daughter's name (Kidding, sort of).  After looking at what felt like a million strollers we FINALLY decided on the UPPAbaby Cruz.  I had my little momma heart set on the UPPAbaby Vista, however, my mother convinced me that the higher price tag for a bassinet was simply not worth it.  Truth-be-told, she was right.  Sure the bassinet looks absolutely adorable, yet, deep down I knew that it would barely have any use.  Baby O was born in the state of Florida in the month of July.  Have you experienced a Florida summer?  Yeah, there weren't that many strolls in those early days.  So, the UPPAbaby Cruz it was.  The fact that it is compact, can be used facing me, and has a huge under basket were huge advantages.  This choice then led us to the UPPAbaby Mesa carseat.  And we love it!  Yes, the carseat is a little on the heavy side, however, I love how it works perfectly with the UPPAbaby Cruz.  One click and you are ready to go.  In those early weeks when Baby O was asleep for every-single car ride, it made life easier to just take out her carseat and click it onto the Cruz base.  Six months in and we are still loving our decision.  I opted for the Denny (Red) for the stroller and for the Jake (Black) for the carseat.  

Blankets.  From the beginning I had my heart set on the Aden & Anais swaddle blankets.  They were the softest and most breathable blankets I could find.  Also, the cute prints didn't hurt.  When we first came home from the hospital I attempted to swaddle Baby O in them and put her down for the night.  Yet, the fact that she could maneuver her way out of the swaddle EVERY-SINGLE-TIME left me extremely uneasy.  I mean, it's not as though I could sleep without checking on her every 10 minutes, but, knowing that there could potentially be a loose blanket around my newborn in the middle of the night did not sit well with me.  So, I stopped using the Aden & Anais blankets as swaddles.  We continue to use them on the go and they work especially well as a makeshift nursing cover.  

So, since we could no longer use the Aden & Anais blankets as swaddles, I had to find something that would keep baby O feeling warm and secure throughout the night.  Enter the Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle.  This was a life-saver in those early months.  In our situation it worked well because there came a time where baby O did not want to have her arms swaddled anymore.  The Halo Sleep Sack gave me the option of arms in or arms out.  We started with both arms in, then one arm out, and finally two arms out.  Now that she can roll over we stopped using the sleep sack altogether.  

Diaper Bags.  Honestly, this particular item is really up to you as the mom.  There are plenty of options to choose from and it is really what works for you.  When I was about seven months pregnant I decided that I was going to gift myself with the diaper bag of my own choosing.  I knew that I wanted something neutral (Pattern free) that I could carry without it looking too much like a diaper bag.  I mean, let's be real here, this was the bag I would most likely be wearing till the  Toddler days came about.  I was absolutely against anything that had little animals on them.  So, one day I was perusing the Coach website and came across this little gem.  It was just what I wanted.  I hurried to the store to test it out.  As soon as I put my little hands on this bag I knew it was the one.  The interior is easy to clean with lots of little compartments.  Also, it was a diaper bag that didn't look like a diaper bag.  Perfect!  At my baby shower, my good friend gifted me with this snazzy Pottery Barn diaper bag which I also loved.  When we went to St. Augustine with baby O having two diaper bags was a life saver.  I ended up using one for daily use and the other to pack all of her extra clothing.  I love both and whichever you choose will leave you feeling happy, trust me.

Once you become a mom you start to realize that you have to do whatever works for you and your baby.  These things have worked out great for us.  However, it does not necessarily mean they will work out the same for you.  Like I've mentioned before, I do not claim to be an expert in all things baby.  I am barely at expert level when it comes to baby O and I'm her mum!  Next time we shall discuss bath time essentials, because that deserves a post all on its own.

I hope that this was at least a smidge helpful.  If these don't work for you, I hope that I have at least eased your mind in knowing that whatever you choose will be okay.  No one will know your baby better than you.  As the days go by you will start to pick up on things that work and things that you could easily live without.  If you have any questions, please, ask away!

xx

Renata