Lesson Number 1,435.

I am going to be honest.  I have learned more in the seven months I've been a mother than I have my entire life (!!!).  Yeah, I know, crazy.  Here is the thing, I was one of those women that would look at parents and think, "Oh, I will NEVER, EVER, EVER do that, EVER."  Yikes, that is embarrassing to admit.  It is almost more embarrassing to have it written down for all to see.  I, Renata, suffered from "foot in mouth" syndrome.  Don't ya worry, I am in recovery mode.

As much as I would like to say I do not judge, I have.  As much as I would like to say that I have never done one of those things I said I'd never do, I did.  It is just a matter of time that you my friend, will too.  Don't believe me?  

Lesson number 1,435: YOUR BABY WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR WORDS.  Not literally, I mean if it were physically possible than yes.  You'd be served a slice of "I would never, ever, humble pie".  I'm sure you are dying to hear an example (and there are plenty). So, let me get started with the most recent one.

I was absolutely adamant that I would never, ever, ever cut Liv's nails while she was sleeping. She would be an obedient babe, she would sit still and let me clip her nails.  Come on, she would be MY child. She would not throw a tantrum.  I refused to give in to clipping her nails while she was sleeping; I didn't want to create a habit.  Yeah, palm in face. 

Sure it worked when she was a newborn and was completely content at staring at my unmade eyebrows.  Now, well, it is a different story.  Clipping her nails turned into a game of wrangle the babe, sing a song, hold on to her hand tightly, and don't snip her finger.  Did that make you tired?  Because I find it exhausting and frightening.  My biggest fear was to clip her finger while cutting her nails.  So, when she was a peach about it as a newborn, I thought, "we are golden."

Fast forward to a curious, non stop, don't hold my hand down baby and I do what I said I would never do. Yes, I clip her nails while she naps.  Not any nap, mind you.  But the car nap, where she is sitting upright in her car seat, and strapped down with nowhere to go.  A girls gotta do, what a girls gotta do. I have to clip, clip, clip before she realizes that I'm holding her hand.  Thus far it has worked.  You can't really negotiate with a 7 month old; chocolate chip cookies don't work as bribery just yet.  So, momma has to be creative. 

Navigating through this parenting world is nothing short of crazy.  I stopped making judgements; because nine times out of ten there is usually a valid reason for a parents crazy antics.  I was also the person that said I would never, ever let my munchkin sleep in bed with me, and I did.  Once, okay, twice, okay, okay three times.  You see you don't know what kind of parent you will be or what kinda of things you will succumb to doing till you actually become a parent.  

Now when I see a parent doing something that I don't necessarily agree with, I say a prayer sending them grace and hope that tomorrow it's not me in her shoes.

What sorts of things have you done as a momma that you said you'd never, ever do?

xx

Renata

This is Monday.

With 24 minutes left of Monday I felt like I needed to get this in, quickly.  I mean, what is a Monday story on a Tuesday?  Exactly.  I've always considered myself a semi-organized person, semi-put together, semi-planner.  I make sure that every Sunday night my bag, Liv's bag, and my nursing bag are replenished.  EVERY-SUNDAY-NIGHT.  Exciting, I know.

Well, when you hear stories about "mommy brain" and think to yourself, "Pshh, that will never happen to me."  I am here to burst your sweet, sweet bubble.  It will happen to you.  Trust me, ladies.  I was one of those women that refused to believe I would ever be affected by "mommy brain".  Boy was I wrong.  

Let me tell ya about today.  Today was absolutely perfect.  A perfect disaster, that is.  I work up took a shower, got dressed, woke up Liv, got her dressed, nursed her, and brought her to bed with Felipe.  I went downstairs grabbed all the bags and proceeded to walk to the key holder.  That is when I realized that my keys were not in its usual location.  "No biggie, " I thought.  So, I grabbed my purse and looked in the ONLY pocket my keys could possibly be in.  Well, guess what?  THEY WERE NOT THERE!  So, I dug around some more.  Nothing.

I mildly began to panic.  I kept going over the events of the previous day over and over in my head.  Where had I last seen those keys?  I searched the kitchen, I went out to Felipe's car, I searched his trunk, I pulled out Liv's stroller to search the underneath basket, and NOTHING.  My keys, my life-line to humanity were gone.  Just like that, gone.  I came back inside and started to look under the couch.  Nothing.

I had finally resolved that I must have dropped my keys at the restaurant during dinner.  Perfect, how was I going to explain that I lost my keys.  I was about to sit on the floor and allow myself a good cry when I decided I should go through my bag one-more-time.  Yup, you guessed it.  There they were.  Just staring me in the face.  They were in the very pocket I had looked.  WHAT THE FUDGE!

There was no time for celebration. I did a quick little victory jump and got my tush out of the house.  I get in my car, turn it on and realize, I DON'T HAVE GAS. Ugh.  True story.  

These are the types of incidences that happen daily.  Blame it on the exhaustion, blame it on the lack of sleep, blame it on the mommy brain.

Good night!

xx

Renata

Little Lady O is Seven Months Old!

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"Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do but someone you raise"

andy stanley

Happy Seven Months, bug!

It is absolutely true what they say.  Every month that passes by is the MOST fun month.  When you think you can't fall in love any harder, you do.  When you think that your heart is so full it may just burst, it gets a little bit bigger.  Every once in awhile I tell your poppa that I cannot believe we made you.  You are perfect.  So perfect.  From those long eye lashes to your chubby thighs.  Every inch of you is, you guessed it, perfect.  I find myself imagining how your personality will be.  How much of your dad or me will you inherit.  You are definitely a strong-willed little girl.  Whenever you are not happy about something you let us know.  Every night before placing you in your crib I hold on to you a little tighter.  Time is unforgiving.  It does not care how much we'd like it to stand still.  Quicker than I would like these days will pass us by.  

Weight:  Well, we don't call her chunky monkey for no reason.  Liv is weighing in at 19 lbs 4 oz.  She gained two pound in less than a month (!!!).  I know, delicious.  I have to stop myself from biting her cheeks.  Oh, and those thighs?  They are much yummier than they look, promise.

Eating: We are still bottle feeding expressed breastmilk while at daycare and breastfeeding at home.  Oh, and of course we've now incorporated a meal of solids once a day.  This weekend we will try breakfast and dinner.  As of this moment Liv has tried the following foods:  avocados, zucchini, white sweet potato, bananas, broccoli, carrots with nutmeg, roasted blueberries with cinnamon, oatmeal, oatmeal with bananas, oatmeal with blueberries, quinoa with raspberries, apples with cinnamon, and pears with cinnamon.  If you read this post you know that we had a tiny hiccup.  I am pleased to say that things have gotten significantly better.  If you feed her blueberries, apples, and pears she will be happy as a clam.  I plan on adding some spinach to her fruit, I'll let you know how it goes.  Also, per my pediatrician we can feed Liv anything and everything (Keeping an eye out for allergies).  Recent research has shown that the longer you wait to introduce certain foods the higher the chance of developing an allergy.  

Wearing:  We are slowly putting away all of Liv's six month clothing.  She may not be very tall, however, rolls take up lots of space.  Her jammies are mostly size 9M and she can even fit into size 12M dresses.  Again, sizing is wonky.  It all depends on the brand.  So, recently I have just been pulling out random sized clothing to see if things fit, and, most of the time they do.  Her Valentine's day dress was size 18M (I told you, completely wonky).  

Doing:  Liv can now sit up completely unassisted for extended periods of time WITHOUT purposefully throwing herself back (Queen of the run-on, I know).  Last month she would sit up and after a minute think it was HILARIOUS to throw herself back (so-not-funny).  Her babbling has gotten even cuter (I didn't think that was possible); and I think it is safe to say that her first word is "ball".  Yeah, not mama, not dada, ball.  It is definitely the kids at daycare.  At first I thought it was an absolute fluke, however, after SEVERAL days and SEVERAL instances of hearing her say "ba, ba" when she holds a ball, I think she knows what it means.  I am not even jealous.  Hearing her little voice turns me into a pile of mush.  Of course we make her repeat it a thousand times a day.  Hey, practice makes perfect.

Sleep:  We are still waking anywhere between one to two times a night to nurse.  Of course there are nights where she won't wake up at all (Thank you Jesus!) and then there are nights she wakes up twice (Those are rough).  On average she wakes up once anywhere between 2:30-3:30, nurses and goes right back to bed.  On the weekdays I have to wake her up to get her ready for daycare.  The weekends she usually nurses around 6:30 AM and goes back to bed till 8:00 AM.  Last weekend she slept till 9:00 AM (HALLELUJAH!).  When I looked at the time I thought I was still dreaming.  

Highlights: This month's highlight definitely has to be the adorable face she made when she tried avocados for the first time.  Actually, the introduction of every new food was exciting.  The tantrums when she DIDN'T like something she ate, well, we could just forget about those.  

Proud Parent Moment: The other day Liv, Mr. Ziggles (Our maltese), and I were playing on the floor.  It was all fun and games until Ziggy scratched Liv's head.  Um, yeah, my poor bug, she was not happy.  Neither she nor Ziggy know how to play nice just yet; but, it's okay, we will get there one day.  Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Liv, being your mother is my biggest accomplishment.  I learn so much each and every day.  You are making me a better person, thank you.

xx

Momma

Five, Five, Five on Friday!

Hello and happy Friday!  These last four days went by excruciatingly slow.  It pretty much felt as though I was reliving Wednesday over, and over, and over again.  Can you imagine being stuck in a Wednesday, forever?  Always feeling like Friday was so close, but not really.  Not something I would ever, ever, ever like to experience, thank you very much.  You know the drill, five on friday with the lovely ladies Christina, April, Darci, and Natasha.  And here it goes...

-One-

Felipe and I are lovers of music.  There is always, and I mean always music playing in our house.  More than anything I want Olivia to be a well-rounded young woman.  I would like to expose her to all types of music, especially the classics.  Hopefully, she will appreciate art the way we do.  With that being said, have you heard the Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars "Uptown Funk" song?  Better yet, have you watched the video?  What are you waiting for?  I rarely say this these days, but, I am absolutely head over heels in love with this song.  When we come home in the afternoon I put it on and have a mini dance party in our kitchen with Liv.  She loves it (well, she laughs at me, mostly).  Watch it, you won't be disappointed, promise.  Oh, you're welcome ;)

-Two-

Remember when I said I was slowly getting rid of all my skincare products and replacing them with natural ones?  Well, I came across this Yes to Blueberries cleanser and thought, score!  Then I went to the Environmental Working Group and wanted to cry.  What the fudge man.  Seriously, apparently the Yes to products are not as "natural" as I was led to believe.  Total bummer.  So, my search continues.  Can you recommend an all natural, cruelty free face wash that doesn't cost an arm and a leg and does miracles to your skin (Queen of the run-on, don't care)?  Help!

-Three-

If you don't know I am a Florida girl.  That being said, it has been unusually cold in Florida these last few days.  Personally, I am loving it.  I was born for the cold weather.  My husband?  Not so much.  He is a bit of a drama queen and probably says 2934837 prayers a day that the weather returns to hot and humid (ew!).  Well, the chilly weather inspired me to make some soup.  However, with a  baby and a full-time job, the only recipes that work for me are "short, quick, and easy".  So, yesterday I went over to trusty ol' Pinterest.  Guys, I found a recipe for the most delicious Italian Orzo Spinach Soup.  It was the bomb diggity.  And, it was SUPER easy.  The only thing I did different was I added some rotisserie chicken.  The best part of it was that there was enough for leftovers tonight.  Do you know how happy it makes me to know that after a busy day I don't have to cook dinner?  SO HAPPY!

-Four-

Can we agree to stop using the word cute when referring to adults?  I don't know what it is, but, I really don't like to be described as "cute".  When I think of something that is cute I definitely do not think of an almost thirty year old woman.  What comes to mind is a chubby baby full of delicious rolls or a furry kitten.  I wore this outfit yesterday and apparently it made me look "cute".  Hmm, what does that even mean?  Do I look like a five-year old?  Actually, don't answer that.  I guess what I am trying to say is that when someone says, "Hey, you look so cute!" it makes me feel that a.)They see me as a child or b.) I really kinda look ugly and they feel bad and try to make it up by giving me a compliment.  I'll be thirty at the end of the year, stop calling me cute, please? And no, apparently I am not above bathroom selfies.  #noshameinmygame  This is probably why I'm cute, c'est la vie. 

-Five-

Look at that hair.  First of all I may be biased but she is yummy.  Second of all look at how determined she is to squeeze that bunny.  Being a working momma is not easy.  What makes it tolerable is the ludicrous amounts of photographs I have of this little munchkin on my telephone.  Thank you technology.  What would I do if I couldn't stare at these little moments and relive them in my head.  She is the best part of my day.  The peanut butter to my jelly.  The cherry to my sundae.  The Roo to my Kanga.  Gosh, I love her.  I was always a bit on the mushy-gushy side, becoming a momma has intensified that ten-fold.  I'm a hot pile of maple syrup.  So sweet I'd give you a tooth ache.

Friday, I heart you.  Can't get enough of me?  Follow me on Instagram, username RBarbie.  Oh, and you can follow us on Facebook (Though I don't update as often, I'll try better).  Have a fantabulous Friday.  

xx

Renata

One, Two, Three, Breathe...

Hi, my name is Renata and I am a recovering germaphobe.  It's been seven months, nine days, eleven hours, sixteen minutes since my last episode.  Okay, who am I kidding, recovery is a long, long, did I say long, road ahead. The weird thing about my antics is that I was not raised to be this way.  Helicopter parents? Nope, not I. I lived in a house where the motto was, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".  True story.

My parents not only allowed us to walk on the grass barefoot, but, they encouraged it. And, no one, certainly not my family can understand where I picked up this ,"oh, my gosh, are your hands clean" kinda attitude. Well, there goes nurture out the window. 

Somehow I was wired to be Little Miss No Germs.  Though, I must say, that I have surprised myself. Before becoming a mum I was certain that I'd live a life of paranoia. The battle against germs would be heavily fought in our household. I was determined to sanitize, disinfect, and boil anything and everything that would potentially come in contact with my child.

Then I had my Liv and as much as I wanted to sterilize the world, I realized I didn't live in a bubble, nor did I want to. Plus, as much as my type A personality wants to control everything, I just don't have the time. Oh, and my husband is the complete opposite of me which is a bit of a conundrum.  Rational and Irrational.   Case in point, one morning when Liv was about two months old I went out to get us coffee. I made sure that she was fed and changed before handing her over to poppa.  I came back after a 15 minute trip to find Felipe feeding our baby the milk I had pumped in case of emergencies.  Instead of savoring the sweet moment between father and daughter I screamed, "oh, my, where did you get that bottle from?"

Turns out Felipe had just found a bottle in. Liv's designated cabinet and poured the milk. No hot water, soap, and repeat. He saw I was visibly upset and asked what was wrong, and fighting back angry tears I said, "those bottles were never sterilized!" To which he calmly responded, "well, too late now, she'll be fine, it'll help build her immune system." And that was that.

I'm thankful for Mr. "I don't really care about germs".  He balances me out, keeps me grounded.  If you're wondering if I need an intervention, fear not.  My tendencies to be a little paranoid lie at the very low end of the spectrum.  Clearly, since I let me daughter sit in the grass where the neighborhood ducks convene. And, I let her swing in the neighborhood swing set. I didn't even wipe her hands immediately after (Though I wanted to disinfect the swing beforehand, I didn't).  I understand the world is hers to explore, freely and openly as a child should.  I may have gotten a little twitchy when she started digging in the leaves with her little fingers, but I counted one, two, three and took a deep breath.  

This little girl is teaching me so much about life and I am loving every minute of it.  Now, if I could only find a way to baby proof the world?  I'm kidding, bumps and bruises are a part of life as well.

xx

Renata

Tuesday-1, Renata-0.

Signs.  I should have taken my almost slip and fall at 6:00 AM this morning as a sign.  A sign that Tuesday was out to get me.  I should have listened to my exhausted Jiminy Cricket and gotten my tush back in bed.  I should have surrendered to Tuesday. I should have, I could have, but I didn't.  Instead I deemed it necessary to test my luck.

I should have known.  Let's do a little recap, shall we?  I barely made it through my shower (Showering and sleeping, not a good combo, ok?).  On my way to work, the orange trash can looking thing used where there is road construction jumped out and hit my passenger side mirror (That is my story and I am sticking to it).  Immediately I panicked and thought, "Felipe is going to kill me."  Good thing I was alone and all that was damaged (slightly) was the inside of my passenger side mirror.  Lucky me, I guess.

Later on in the day my husband happily (sarcasm at its best) informed me that our daughter's health insurance premium had gone up.  The increase was significant enough where we had to have our insurance agent find us a different provider.  No harm no foul, right?  WRONG.  Our new insurance provider isn't accepted at our daughter's pediatrician. Cue mopey, sad face with tears.  Finding a pediatrician that I liked was difficult the first time around.  Finding a second pediatrician that I like now that I've found one I love?  It makes me want to cry (I definitely did).

This past Saturday Liv decided she wasn't content with the one nightly waking.  Apparently, waking two times a night is so much more fun.  This momma is feeling a little loopy.  Oh, and let's not forget to mention that Florida has decided to return to her bi-polar ways.  One day it's cold and the next it's summer.  My poor lips have gotten so dry that they've cracked.  I have tried EVERY chapstick, EVERY lip balm, and coconut oil.  In case you are wondering, they are still cracked.  I did the unthinkable and lathered the Honest company's healing balm (I'll let you know how it goes).

If there were a button I could hit rewind, I'd do it in a heart beat.  If any day deserved a redo, today would be it.  Okay Tuesday, you win.

xx

Renata

My Funny Valentine.

Valentine's Day.

I know, I know, it is a Hallmark holiday.  Yes, I also know that we should show and shower our loved ones with affection EVERY day, not just on ONE day.  Yet, I cannot help but get a little giddy about hearts, and pink, and red, and glitter.  Valentine's Day for me has never been about solely romantic love.  It is about all kinds of love.  Mostly, it is just an excuse to be a little extra mushy-gushy with those that hold a little space in your heart.

This year we had an extra special little Valentine; our sweet Liv.  My heart skips a beat when I think of how much love there is between the three of us.  This will be the first of many Valentine's Day lunches with mummy and daddy.  We've started a tradition and there is no going back.  Do you think it will be acceptable for us to MAKE her have lunch with us every year till forever?  Yeah, I thought so, forever it is.  

We opted for lunch al fresco to savor the beautiful weather Florida gifted us.  And our little munchkin enjoyed people watching as we ate our meal (She is a thoughtful one that Liv).  Next year I'll let her eat some of my braised short rib tostada.  

After lunch was over we headed home to put our Valentine down for her nap.  And, instead of taking a much needed mommy nap, I baby meal prepped for the week.  Overall, our day was quiet, and peaceful, and perfect. Well, except that Felipe cracked his iPhone screen during our photo session.  Yeah, that really happened.  It can't all be smooth sailing, can it? I blame it on his tight jeans and his sudden love for creative photography (He needs practice, I know).

I hope that your day was just as fabulous.  I hope that no matter how you spent it or with whom that it was the icing on the cake.  

Oh, and of course, happy Monday.  

xx

Renata

Feeding the Baby.

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Yesterday was the one month mark of when this little one and I embarked on the solid food train.  What a ride it has been!  Liv has always been a good eater (nurser, nursling, whatever).  If I let her she would nurse all-the-live-long-day.  Everyone that met her would tell me that she would love eating solids because she was such a hungry baby.  They would tell me that she was still waking in the middle of the night because she was hungry.  If only I gave her a little cereal, all would be well in our sleep deprived world.  I didn't give her cereal. In fact, going completely against what my family has done with their children I waited till Liv was six months to feed her solids, and I didn't start with rice cereal.  

It isn't so much my inner crunchy momma that believes this, it is my logical side that believes a baby's digestive system simply isn't mature enough for solids before the six month mark   So, we waited.  Right around her six month birthday, I started to realize that whenever I'd eat something Liv would stare it down like it was the most delicious thing her little eyes had ever seen (it was, she just didn't know it).  There were a couple of times she would reach for my food. So, I thought, perfect, little miss sassy pants is ready!

And, she was.  Till she wasn't. We started out with avocados and breastmilk. She loved it!  We did the whole 3-4 days waiting period before transitioning to the next food.  I thought to myself, she is a natural, she's got this. Then we tried zucchini; she hated it.  Then we tried white sweet potatos; she hated it. Then we tried broccoli; she hated it.  Then we tried bananas; she hated it.  And the drama began.

From that moment on she would associate the spoon and the bowl with something she didn't like. So, little miss sassy pants would clamp her mouth shut and refuse to eat as soon as she would see me bring the bowl out.   When I would get close to her mouth with the spoon she would scream.  Instead of being a fun adventure it was frustrating and exhausting to try and feed her.  I was upset, she was upset; it just wasn't working.  Somehow I had failed as a momma, or so I thought.  Why wouldn't she eat?  All the food was homemade with care and love.  Yet, every time I tried to feed her she would cry.  I cried too. After a particularly trying Sunday I sat on my kitchen floor and had a meltdown.  Liv just stared at me smiling as she held her spoon (empty, of course).  I felt defeated.  I read blogger after blogger gush about how their babies were great eaters. It just seemed that everyone around me had a baby that loved solids immediately (Or so they say).  What had I done wrong?  What was I doing wrong?  Felipe assured me that everything was going to be okay.  Eventually she would want to eat. He reminded me that Liv is on her own schedule.  And, finally, I agreed.  So, we took a break.

Five days later I tried again. This time it was roasted blueberries with cinnamon. And, wouldn't you know it, she ate them, tear free! So, then I mixed blueberries with bananas, oatmeal and bananas, oatmeal and blueberries. She ate them all!  Fast forward to quinoa and raspberries, and the drama ensued once more.  Girlfriend just knows what she wants, and it isn't quinoa.  

Now, I feel better.  If she doesn't eat what we try, it's okay, we can try again tomorrow.  I read that,"Food before one is just for fun!" So, we will keep experimenting with new things, new ways, and see how it goes.  Just know that if you are experiencing the same thing, YOU AREN'T ALONE! And as my husband reassured me, "Don't worry, she's not going to be asking for your boob at five." Let's hope not! 

xx

Renata

A little thanks.

The days are long and the nights are short.  It feels like we are always rushing through the day. We come home from work and our second shift begins. Dinner making, dinner eating, bathtime, dish time. There are no minutes unaccounted for.  It's hard to pause and catch your breath.  And, when you do, you realize it's 11:00 PM and you still haven't showered.

The days go by fast and I don't give this man enough credit. Yesterday, amidst getting Liv's super healthy, organic, delicious (only to me, apparently) quinoa and raspberry dinner warmed up, a mysterious box appeared on our kitchen island. Honestly, I had no clue how it got there. Was it there already? Am I going crazy?  It was wrapped in newspaper and neon orange post its.  Um, okay. So, logically, I ask Felipe what the heck it was.

He responds by, um, I don't know (with a cheesy smile).  It doesn't take long before he confesses that he and Liv had had a pow-wow the night before and agreed I should open my Valentine's Day present early.  You should know that I always get my presents early.  Felipe is a giddy five year old with no will power or self control to keep surprises to himself, or secrets (you are warned).  So, I open the box and there it is, a canon rebel t5 dslr.  Come to momma!

So, we should all say a big thank you to Felipe.  Finally, this little corner will have some decent photographs.  And, a personal thank you for being such a great partner.  Even though I turn you down more times than I should when you ask to help out (I am OCD) I am grateful you ask.  Though I may take you up on that take-out suggestion.  

Get ready folks, this little blog is about to have it's world rocked!

xo

Renata

Gone Fishin'!

If you are looking for a post about the kind of fishing that involves bait and real fish, you've wandered to the wrong place.  It's okay, it happens.  It's kind of a funny thing, this whole motherhood gig.  I used to be so much more sure of my choices and now, well, I find myself doubting my every move. So, every once in awhile I ask my dear husband if he thinks I'm a good mom.  I mean, who else could really answer this question as well as he.

Last night as I was finishing up Liv's weekly meal prep this pang of guilt hit me.  That full-time momma guilt is funny like that.  You think you are past the downs and all of a sudden, boom.  Well, I was feeling sorta bleh when I asked, "Babe, do you think I'm a good mother?"

Husband: (just stares at me)

Me: (Gives him a huge, toothy, cheesy, tilted head grin)

Husband: Renata, are you fishing for compliments?

Me: (Bigger toothy grin) Maybeeeee

Husband: Oh, yes, but of course. You are the best momma in the world.  Liv is upstairs right now in her crib thinking about how amazing her momma is.  She's thinking, "My momma is the best momma in the whole wide world.  She makes me roasted organic blueberries with cinnamon (really drag out the cinnamon).  My momma makes me organic raspberries and quinoa. My momma is soooo wonderful. She only cooks me organic things. She's the best momma in the world."

Me:

So, yeah.  I guess he thinks I'm doing a good job?

Have a happy Monday!

xo

Renata

Five on Friday!

Don't ya worry. I'll spare you the monologue on how, "oh my gosh, the week flew by"; because it didn't.  Not in the slightest.  So, for the lack of creative juices flowing in the noggin, you'll have to settle for "Five on Friday." Please, try to contain your excitement. It's 4:34 AM and I have now been up four times. Yes, uno, dos, tres, CUATRO! Two times I tried to calm the babe with her paci only to be brought back in a whole hour later. The other two were to nurse. If you're wondering, yes, I am nursing now.  The best part? My alarm goes off at 5:45 AM. You've got that right, FML. Sleep, one day we shall meet again.

Where were we?  Oh, yeah, "Five on Friday." You know the deal, I'm linking up with Christina, April, Darci, and Natasha to bring you this week's edition of "five on Friday," hold your applause.

/1/ Clearly, my love for polkadots stems from long, long ago. I was wearing my mom's black and white polkadot shirt as a dress, obviously ( fashionista in the making). And, a ton of blush (some things really don't change).

/2/ My goal this year is to have a major overhaul of all my beloved cosmetics.  Finally, I've made the decision to take an all natural approach when it comes to my skincare.  I've been doing this slowly throughout the years, yet, it's hard to breakup with MAC and Chanel. #firstworldproblems

/3/ Hold the phone! Can we talk about how absolutelyfreakingadorable (yes, say it as if it were one word) this sloth is? I don't want, I need to get this for Liv.  She will be the cutest babe on the block with her little sloth plush.  You can find this gem on the Anthropologie website. And, though I normally don't ever, ever purchase anything from them (expensive much?) this is too hard to pass up. 

/4/ I randomly found this on Pinterest the other day. The wisdom of an eight year old. These words couldn't ring more true.  Naps and showers are my cure all for everything. If we could only get some nap pods at work. I'm sure it would reduce the tension and urge to smack someone silly. 

/5/ I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm always completely health conscious.  Because truth-be-told, I've never met a chocolate bar I didn't love, or eat.  Then these little gems come into my life.  All I can say is, "Why haven't I met you sooner?"  Have you tried these? No! Don't, more for me, tee hee.

Have a fist pumpin', booty twerkin' Friday!

xo 

Renata

Words for Wednesday.

(As organized as my kitchen will be on this Wednesday and that is okay)

What do you think about Wednesdays?  I am yet to decide how I feel.  Even with its hefty significance (The work week is halfway over) I just can't seem to fall in love.  You see, I don't know about you, but by the time Wednesday rolls around I am in need of some major inspiration.  The kind of pick-me-up that not even a venti toffee nut latte could handle on its own.  No way, no how.  

When I am looking for inspiration I search for words.  Words that are going to be with me forever.  Words strung so perfectly together you can't help but smile.  The other day I found the perfect combination of words.  Our encounter was what one would call serendipitous.  And, when I come across something so grand I cannot help but want to share.  I write on post its and random pieces of paper.  I share them with anyone and everyone.

You see, these words were more than fitting for the way I have been feeling recently.  In those moments of complete silence where your thoughts are so loud you can't help but listen, I find myself questioning, doubting, and underestimating my worth.  Then almost as if by fate I come across this beautiful poet whose words speak directly to my soul.  

It is written, "“Will it make me something? Will I be something? Am I something? And the answer comes, already am, always was, and I still have time to be”, Anis Mojgani you slay me.

I think I'll set aside all Wednesdays from here on out for powerful words.  For words so great they will spark a fire in your soul.

xo

Renata

I'm a mother effin' mombie.

Let me state for the record (my record, obviously) that I wrote this entire post twice-yesterday. Mysteriously, it disappeared from my drafts, $&%#. I can think up quite a few choice words for how I felt in that moment, but, for the sake of keeping this zone PG we'll just stick with, gosh DARN it (emphasis on the darn). 

So, let's talk about sleep. Or in the case at mi casa right now, the lack thereof. I had no idea that the sleep patterns of an almost seven month old was absolutely unpredictable. These last few nights have been rough. My body feels as though it spent a week gettin' down in Vegas sans the rum and cokes. Before you get all excited about how I'm a new mom and these things are to be expected, let me just say that, yes, I knew to expect this. What I didn't expect was to be so divided as to how to deal with said sleeplessness.

You see, at the moment I feel as though I am suffering from a multiple personality disorder. My 3:30 AM self has gotten to her breaking point. She cannot possibly take one more night of fiesta a la Livi. She NEEDS to sleep more than a two hour stretch. My 3:30 AM self purchases things like the "Sleepeasy Solution" book and promises that tomorrow sleep training will commence. Hasty decisions made after sleep walking and banging into bedposts to make it to my babe. My exhausted, disheveled, breast milk smelling, pony tail wearing self knows Livi doesn't need to nurse multiple times throughout the night. She knows that 12:30 and 3:30 AM feedings can essentially be eliminated. She's gaining weight and eats plenty throughout the day. My 3:30 AM self knows that sleeping through the night is possible (it's happened multiple times). 

Then my 10:45 AM, super crunchy, wannabe hippy, no perfume wearing, won't feed my child sugar till she's one (longer if I can help it), takes a power nap and emerges a changed woman. She sits down little miss bags under her eyes and calmly shows her the alternative. Maybe sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone; one we have yet to reach (But we will!). Maybe my sweet babe needs those extra calories and those extra cuddles and her momma's touch.  Maybe this is just the way of the world.  Some babes sleep through the night, other babes do not; you get the picture.  My 10:45 AM self accepts that sleepless nights and drowsy days are just another aspect to parenting.  She wants to say, "Pick up that baby, she will only be this little once."  My 10:45 AM self wants to hug my 3:30 AM self and tell her that THIS is PARENTHOOD. 

Then we have my 5:00 PM self.  She is the semi crunchy, semi practical, trust your gut, go with the flow kind of gal.  My 5:00 PM self says take it one day and one hour at a time.  She understands that there will be good days and bad days.  My 5:00 PM self is comfortable in knowing that when the time comes she will know which route to take.   She believes in gentle sleep training when the time is right.  She gets that it isn't entirely one way or the other.  My 5:00 PM self is okay with a little mixed approach.  She wants to scream, "THIS TOO SHALL PASS."

At this very second, my 10:30 PM self is saying, "Good night, good luck, now get your ass to bed (okay, so we are keeping it PG-13). For once I don't feel at all divided.  

Mombie (mom zombie) signing out.

xo

Renata