Adieu April.

Via

April, April, April.  You kicked my arse!  Let me take a second to breathe.  Yes, because it is 9:30 PM and I am yet to shower.  My kitchen is a d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r, my bed is not made and I am still wearing the same pants that I spilled chicken noodle soup I had for lunch this afternoon (which Ziggy seems to enjoy sniffing).  Have I mentioned that it is almost ten o'clock?  Breathe, breathe, breathe (inhale, exhale, right?).  April, to say that you were eventful is an understatement.  You have brought unexpected but welcome surprises.  You have filled the days with sunshine and the afternoons with showers.  You have been quite the entertainer.  On occasion I felt like the rush of the day would tear me asunder.  And, here we are.  The last day of the fourth month of the year 2013.  How in the world did we get here so quickly?  April, you have shown me that no matter what comes my way, I will come out standing and grinning on the other side.  I am unstoppable and smelly. But first, the kitchen!  I really need a house cleaner.  Now, let us be thankful for one more month of life, shall we?  Because, I am grateful =)

xoxo

Happy Birthday, Little Miss Ren!

"Let Love Be Your Highest Goal"

Happy birthday sweet little blog.  Thank you for giving me the means to say what I please, when I please, how I please.  We have been through some tribulations this past year.  Yet, we have come out swinging.  Sure, I am yet to fix the whole domain situation.  Yeah, switching over from Weebly to Blogger was nothing short of a hassle, but, I love ya anyway.  You and I are evolving, growing, changing.  And, to those of you who have stopped by, even for a moment, thank you.  Sweet blog, we are in for the long run, can't wait to see where this blog world will take us.  

xoxo

Till Next Time...

"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 

-Steve Maraboli

More often than not I felt an obligation to hold on, to everything.  It was never the idea of letting go that scared me.  It was the overwhelming, consuming notion that somehow I had not done enough.  I HAD NOT TRIED.  I HAD LET IT CRUMBLE. I, I, I.  You see, in the back of my mind I felt that if things were going wrong, clearly, I was the one to blame.  As if I held the power to control the behavior of others.  Sure, there were things that I could have done differently.  Hindsight is in fact 20/20.  Yet, what I had not truly understood, perhaps my heart did not want to understand, is that a friendship is not a one way street.  And, if I can take responsibility then so should you.  There will forever be a part inside of me, the part that wants to hold on to the little girl I once was, that refuses to release the hold.  The tight grasp I have on those moments are simply hard to release.  Then it dawned on me.  Those memories are mine, always, forever, till the world is no more.  Not a single action will take those sweet memories from me.  And, amidst this clarity, I came upon the realization, some people just grow apart.  It is that simple.  Those days spent surrounded by laughter, by giggles and love, will never be forgotten.  My heart will ache each and every time I hear that song.  Yet, right now, today, maybe, it's just not our time.  And, that is okay.  Because I will cherish our moments.  I will carry them with me.  I will honor their significance. I will wish you well.  I will remember you on your birthday.  I will look up into the sunshine and smile that once you were my friend.  It isn't goodbye, it's till next time.  Because, one day, I know, we will find our way to each other again.

xoxo

Happy Shenanigans.

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake"

-Fifty Cent

Sure, I can summarize my entire weekend for you.  Sure, I can go into detail about every-single-thing-I-did.  However, I won't, this time.  Today I will give you just the highlight.  My T's engagement dinner.  Boy, oh, boy was it filled with happiness.  It should be said that T and her bridesmaids make the absolute best bridal party ever.  Did I say ever?  I mean EVER!  In all of the land this group of babes is top notch.  And look at how beautiful our bride is (she is the one in the middle).  After stuffing our pretty little faces with some Brazilian rodizio we made our way to a little place called American Social.  There was drinking, there was dancing, there was singing, dude, there was fun.  I should remember to take more photos.  Maybe even a video.  Our rendition of Madonna's "Like a Prayer", well, we'd definitely land a spot on American Idol, duh.  Oh, and we met Ryan Tannehill, 'nuff said, right?  I will admit.  I had NO clue who Ryan Tannehill was.  Yeah, I can't say I am a big Dolphin's fan. Oh, cry me a river.  The night could not have gone any more perfect.  Those Colgate smiles?  That is the sign of pure happiness.  Like Audrey would say, "Happy girls are the prettiest girls".

xoxo

It could always be worst!

Via

"Don't worry, be happy".  If anyone can understand what it means to have a bad day it is moi.  Put your trust in this my friends, sometimes, you just have to take a moment and scream.  Yes, there I said it.  SCREAM!  Screaming is actually quite therapeutic my friends.   You should try it sometime.  So, yes, back to the whole having a bad day thing.  We all have bad days.  And, sure, sometimes it feels like we are stuck in the tunnel with no light in sight.  Yet, believe me when I say this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It may seem like you are perpetually stuck in the darkness.  And, it may seem like the overwhelming darkness will encompass your life forever.  But, you are strong.  You are beautiful.  You are worth it and you will make it through.  Plus, dudes, it could always be worst.  You could be Mr.Lizard who accidentally hitched a ride on my car.    Adrenaline junkie?  Perhaps.  Little did he know that his adrenaline rush would lead to his demise.  So, when you are having one of those days, just think to yourself, at least I am not Mr.Lizard.  I speak for myself when I say that it can be incredibly difficult to see the silver lining.  There were moments where even I felt as though I'd never see the sunshine.  But, I did, and here I am.  Sometimes, I must remind myself, breathe in, breathe out.  I do a little dance and let it all go. 

xoxo

"Love Builds a Happy Home"

Via

Circa January 2009

They say that "home is where the heart is".  My heart belongs to you.  My heart has always belonged to you.  Home.  My home, is wherever you may be, my love.  Wherever you are, wherever you shall go, my home is next to you.  And, when I close my eyes I see your lips, your eyes, your face.  Immediately I am surrounded by your warmth.  And when my mind does wander.  It wanders to you.  Always to you.  It has always been you.  It will always be you.  I am eternally bonded to you.  I love you.  When I think it's been nine years, I realize, it will never be enough.  Never.

xoxo  

Sick Girl Problems.

Via

This girl right here has been home sick for the past two days.  Yes, I have actually used my sick days because I am truly sick (who would have thought?).  It started on Tuesday night.  Oh, Tuesday, how I dislike you!  Have you ever felt exhausted beyond the point of comprehension?  Add the worst migraine on the history of this here Earth, some crazy hormonal activity, dizzy spells and close fainting action and you've pretty much summed up how I felt.  And no, I am not pregnant.  Then take yesterday.  On top of all those awesome symptoms I've just described my gastritis decided to make a guest appearance.    How fortunate for me!  Oh, how I enjoy stomach issues.  Have you heard of gastritis?  Google it.  Wednesday, well, it was worst than Tuesday (I wasn't sure that was even possible).  At around two in the afternoon my stomach started acting up.  Immediately I made myself some tea with lemon.  It did not work.  I took five hot showers.  They did not work.  I cried, I prayed, I pleaded.  NOTHING WORKED!  At around three in the morning I considered driving myself to the emergency room.  And, here we are today.  Still feeling like poop.  Thursday, I am not fond of you either.  Around five thirty this morning I was FINALLY able to shut my eyes and sleep.  Not that it was a long and peaceful slumber, but, hey, two hours is better than zero, am I right?  I got myself up and took a shower only to put on clean pajamas and keep Mr.Ziggles company downstairs.  Excuse the hole in my grey t-shirt (comfort beats looking good on these sorts of occasions).  Hair brushing?  Did not happen, dudes.  I am going for the al naturale look.  Don't worry I brushed my teeth!  Okay, so, I am open up for suggestions, tips, natural remedies.  At this point, dudes, I will try anything to rid myself of gastritis.  Anything!  I'm off to ogle the television.  

xoxo

Take me to San Francisco!

"Leaving San Francisco is like saying goodbye to an old sweetheart.  You want to linger as long as possible."

Walter Kronkite 

Via

Come this summer, the husband and I will be taking a little trip to the West Coast.  We decided to split the planning between the both of us.  He of course, chose planning our trip to Napa Valley.  I am now under the responsibility of choosing different places to get our chow on.  Okay, I must admit, at first this all came off as sounding super easy.  Food? Restaurants?  Easy peasy, right?  No, not right!  There are about a gazillion different places to eat in San Francisco.  I am overwhelmed.  OVERWHELMED!  So, here I am, asking all of you, help me!  PLEASE!  I have been doing my research, however, it would be so much easier to hear about first-hand experiences.  The must-dos/must see/must eat, etc. etc.  Oh, and feel free to throw in the ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO!  I am open to all suggestions.  Thank you!

xoxo

Birchbox? Oh, yeah!

April Birchbox

(The goodies)

Almost one year ago I saw my friend posting pictures of this little thing called the "Birchbox".  I was all like, "Dude, what is that sweet, sweet box?".  My friend was all like, "WHAT??!?!?!, you DON'T know what the "Birchbox" is?".  Yeah, I felt like a total loser.  So, she explained to me the low down behind this cute little cardboard box.  The "Birchbox" is a cute monthly subscription where for only ten dollars you receive a monthly delivery.  Who doesn't love deliveries?  You're right, no one!  So, yes, ten dollars a month gets you an adorable box filled with high-end beauty products and lifestyle samples.  Oh, and guess what, these products are personalized to YOU!  Yes!  When you sign up you answer a questionnaire in order for the lovely "Birchbox" team to select products best fitted for you.  Okay, relax, it is only sample sizes.  However, it is perfect for the individual who is looking to try different things without having to commit to a regular size and the regular purchase price (uh-mazing, right?).  It probably took five minutes after that conversation with my friend for me to wander to the "Birchbox" site.  I was uber excited!  I love getting mail.  So, a personalized box filled with goodies every month was just what I was looking for.  When I realized I was placed on the waiting list, well, let's just say the Ziggles heard his momma say some pretty inappropriate things.  Patience, I am working on it.  When I FINALLY received that e-mail saying my first "Birchbox" would be sent out I almost, almost, jumped for joy.  My husband does not seem to understand the amazingness this box has to offer.  Husband, whatever.  He also doesn't understand the need for multiple bags, or shoes, or earrings.

So, if you haven't already joined the "Birchbox" frenzy, DO IT!  Do-it-now.  Let me share the goodies I received for the month of April.  This month, I must admit, was a bit of a bummer.  Personally, I prefer receiving perfume samples or lipstick or bandaids, but THAT nail polish, too cute for words.  I opened the box to the following:  Nexxus Youth Renewal Rejuvenating Elixir (it combats 8 signs of aging hair, apparently), Malin+Goetz moisturizer (I've tried this one before, not my fave), Supergoop Advnanced Anti-aging Eye Cream (with SPF 37, I may love this), Ruby Wing color changing nail polish (this is SUPPOSED to change from hot pink to purple with a little bit of sunshine, it is currently storming, I can't test it out) and lastly, Hail Merry  chocolate macaroons (gluten-free, vegan and made with coconut oil, I am yet to devour it).

There are some boxes I love more than others.  However, the fun of receiving a little gift once a month, well, nothing beats that!

Happy Saturday, loves!

xoxo

Sunshine.

via

You know what comes to mind during this pure moment of clarity, "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind, it’s gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day".  Yes, my friends it most certainly is.  When I first heard the whole theory behind positive affirmations, well, I was a bit skeptical.  Like, really?  Really?  Yeah, exactly.  Yet, as I've said before.  I was in a total funk!  A funk that was lasting much longer than I wanted, much longer than I could deal with.  It was time to let go and move on.  And, I have done just that.  Sure, it's only been a short couple of days.  Yet, I am optimistic about this "peace and light" me.  I remind myself several times throughout the day that, if I cannot control it, then I should let it go.  Dudes, I have let go of so much today.  The traffic on I-95 at eight thirty in the morning, "I CANNOT CONTROL BAD DRIVERS".  So, I let it go!  I breathe in and breath out and just let it go.  The crazy man on the street that I stopped so he could cross that intersection even though he gave me the stank eye?  "I CANNOT CONTROL THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS".  So, I let it go.  I let it go, I let it all go.  Oh, have I mentioned how amazing this is making me feel?  A-effin-mazing!  Try it with me why don't ya.  Scream "I CANNOT CONTROL THIS", breathe in, breathe out, and let it go.  

Oh, and happy Tuesday almost Wednesday!

xoxo

Booger Green for the win!

Lustrous Lime

I love, love, LOVE the color green.  Seriously.  Every shade of green is my thang.  When the husband and I first started dating I bought the cutest hunter green dress.  That dress was my obsesh.  It was a no-sleeve, scrunched at the top, flowy on the bottom, perfect shade of verde dress.  I was saving that dress for date night.  The husband (then boyfriend) was going to love this dress, I just knew it (or, so I thought).  Well, come date night I put on that hot hunter green dress and jump the moment I hear the door bell ring.  The moment had arrived, I could barely contain myself.  I strutted out into the living room like I was the next next big thing on the Victoria's Secret fashion show runway.  My gaze met my lover's eyes and, nothing.  Um, not the reaction I was hoping for (where were the "Babe, you look gorgeous" comments).  My sweet boyfriend said to me, "Ugh, you are going to wear a GREEN dress?".  Wait, what?!?! Yes, my darling lover does not have the same appreciation for all shades of green like I do.  Nope, he does not.  Which brings me to this weekend.

As I've mentioned.  This girl finds green the 'ish.  I refused to give up on my color.  So, whenever I make the decision to paint my nails a tone of green, I always make sure to wave it in my husband's face.  It usually goes, "Babe, babe, how do you like my greeeeennn nails?".  He usually makes some strange comment (this is not unusual for him, he is known for his odd comments, he doesn't have a filter).  When I finished painting my nails with Maybelline's "lustrous lime" the first thing I did was turn to the husband.  The scene went down a little like this:

ME:  "Babe, babe, how do you feel about this nail polish color?"

THE BABE:  "Ugh, do you mean that vomit green?" (seriously! vomit green?)

ME:  "I'd like to think it's more of a booger green." 

THE BABE:  He doesn't say anything he just gives me "the" look.

ME AND THE BABE:  There are no words, we just sit there and laugh at my booger green nails.  Because, really, who wants their nails painted booger green? I DO!

Booger green?  Dude, I love it.  And, if you have an affinity for all shades of green, well, you'll love it too.  Come on, do it, we'll be booger buddies =)

xoxo

Just Be.

My nature has always been one filled with ambition and the competitive urge for excellence.  As long as I can remember I have strived to be the best.  I didn't need pressure from my parents.  The amount of pressure I placed on myself was more than sufficient.  And, if someone said I couldn't do something, it was more fuel for my fire.  

One moment.  One decision.  One choice.  One different step and everything changed.  I am my own worst enemy, or, so I was.  Until recently, I had not realized how unforgiving I was.  I had not forgiven myself for making the choice to not attend law school.  This invisible weight was a burden.  One I carried with me for the past five years.  A burden that ate at my core and one I wish to never carry.  The disappointment from others was nothing in comparison to the disappointment I felt in myself.  Each passing day I felt like my essence was being crushed.  Who was this girl?  If I wasn't the person who followed her life plan than who was I?  Every morning I awoke feeling less like a success and more like a failure.  I allowed myself to wallow in self pity.  In the convoluted world that I had constructed if I wasn't a lawyer, if I didn't have a fancy job, if I wasn't making more money than the next person, I was a failure.  I simply could not get over that fact.  These struggles were my own.  I truly was my own worst enemy.  

Then something just clicked.  And, in an instant, a grand realization was made.  Now, looking back, I believe the answer was always staring me right in the face.  The universe was giving me hints.  I was just too blinded by disappointment to see.  Then one day, as I was nestled on my couch amidst a good book I came across this passage.  It was as though the words were written just for me.  Perhaps, it was a way of God reassuring me that everything, will be okay.  Cynthia Hand, thank you!

"And finally, I’ve learned that life isn’t really about failure and success. It’s about being present, in the moment when big things happen, when everything changes, including yourself. So I would tell us, no matter how bright we think our futures are, it doesn’t matter. Whether we go off to some fancy university or stay home and work. That doesn’t define us. Our purpose on this earth is not a single event, an accomplishment we can check off a list. There is no test. No passing or failing. There’s only us, each moment shaping who we are, into what we will become. So I say forget about the future. Pay attention to now. This moment right now. Let go of expectations. Just be. Then you are free to become something great.”

I intend to do just that.  The only person who I will answer to is myself.  I am going to just be.  The more I freed myself from the burden I carried, the more I was aware that I was not alone.  So, in a way, I'm not just writing this for me, but for you too.  For those of you who feel lost.  For those of you struggling with the notion that you aren't exactly where you want to be.  You are not alone.  Success is relative.  And, as Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy".  

xoxo

Fur Baby.

If you haven't been properly introduced, let me do the honors.  This is Mr.Ziggy Marley.  Cute, isn't he?  Yes, cute he is.  There are no words to describe the amount of adorable that exudes off this fluffy ball of fur.  NO WORDS!  Now, what you do not understand about this black nosed ball of cuddles, is that he is absolutely impossible.  Perhaps, he is too spoiled.  Too clingy.  Too attention hungry.  This can be the only explanation.  Ziggy does what he wants, when he wants.  It's as though he is stuck in the "terrible twos" for life.  Apparently, for the last three years he has forgotten the meaning of "No".  No, means yes.  Yes, means, "Of course, duh".  It is a sight to be seen, trust.  And, lately, the Ziggles has taken to using our rug as a potty.  He knows it's naughty.  He knows, because when I look for him, he is nowhere to be found.  The moment he is found?  His little ears go low and he gives me the "puss in boots" eyes.  Ugh.  Not fair, Ziggy, not fair.  Honestly, I am a tad bit lost as to what to do.  How can I discipline him when I always catch him after-the-fact?  So, I scream, mostly to myself.  I pout, I stomp, and then I go on loving him.  What can I do?  This momma is a sucker for that wet nose.

xoxo

(And here are pictures of baby Ziggles.  Isn't he cute?)

(I told you, so, so cute)