"Are you throwing a temper tantrum?” he asked with a grin. “Because this is not Toddlers and Tiaras."
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This past weekend the husband and I took a little trip to Orlando. You must be thinking, "The weekend after Thanksgiving?, they must be nuts." The answer to that question is quite simple. Nuts, yes, most definitely. However, to be perfectly honest we went to Orlando "after" Thanksgiving last year and had an absolute blast. So, we decided that every "after" Thanksgiving weekend would be christened with a trip to an amusement park. Last year was Islands of Adventure. This year was Universal Studios. Last year the park was practically empty (at least early in the morning). This year, well, let's just say it was barely empty (it was kids, upon kids, upon kids, upon kids). I love kids, don't get me wrong, but, I was not prepared for what ensued.
This won't be your typical synopsis of how fabulous my time was. Nope it is not. It is going to be a short list of what my day at Universal taught me. Boy, did it teach me a lot. Prepare yourself for a treat my friends.
1.) If you want dippin' dots at 10 o'clock in the morning get the dippin' dots at 10 o'clock in the morning. If you wait until after lunch the cookie dough dippin' dots will be gone and you'll have to settle for cookies and cream, and, I hate settling.
2.) Brazilians are taking over the world. Seriously. At every turn there was someone speaking Portuguese (Brazilian Portuguse that is). All day I kept saying, "I-SEE-BRAZILIANS".
3.) The rides you loved when you were seven are kind of boring when you are twenty-seven. And it has nothing to do with imagination. My imagination rocks, thank you very much.
4.) Watching a child throw a temper tantrum is like being forced to watch Rihanna, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Kesha and Lady Ga Ga on repeat for 2 hours straight. Absolute torture. Will someone please make it stop?
5.) Don't hold your pee. Especially if you are about to wait in line for 45 minutes and then go on a three minute roller coaster ride. I repeat. Not-a-good-idea.
6.) Mothers are crazy. Mothers at amusement parks are absofreakinlutely insane. I needed to use the restroom. The line was ginormous. I was patiently waiting when this tight jean, big haired, scrunchy wearing woman rushes past me with her mini me and enters the next available stall. Um, excuse me? Was I just skipped in the bathroom line. Yup, I was.
7.) You are never too old to take a picture with the fuzzy characters. Never. Scooby Doo, where are you?
8.) Wear sneakers. You may look like a touristy nerd, sure, but, your feet won't feel like you walked through a maze made of bricks for 30 hours (clearly, I never follow my own advice because my feet were sore. So, so, so very sore).
9.) In conjunction with the purchase of an amusement park pass everyone should get a complimentary stick of deodorant. I mean, come on, has anyone heard of a shower? Like, I don't even know where to begin.
10.) Ten year old little girls are hardcore. I was literally pushed by a little Asian girl in the line for the "Despicable Me" ride. Apparently she felt I wanted to take her place in line. She had the best "stank eye" I've ever seen in my life (if looks could kill). Note-to-self: Do not, under any circumstance, cross little Asian girls.
I can't even imagine what a trip to Magic Kingdom would be like. However, I am always up for a challenge. Babe, if you are reading this I know exactly where we should go next year. Mickey Mouse here I come.
xoxo
This won't be your typical synopsis of how fabulous my time was. Nope it is not. It is going to be a short list of what my day at Universal taught me. Boy, did it teach me a lot. Prepare yourself for a treat my friends.
1.) If you want dippin' dots at 10 o'clock in the morning get the dippin' dots at 10 o'clock in the morning. If you wait until after lunch the cookie dough dippin' dots will be gone and you'll have to settle for cookies and cream, and, I hate settling.
2.) Brazilians are taking over the world. Seriously. At every turn there was someone speaking Portuguese (Brazilian Portuguse that is). All day I kept saying, "I-SEE-BRAZILIANS".
3.) The rides you loved when you were seven are kind of boring when you are twenty-seven. And it has nothing to do with imagination. My imagination rocks, thank you very much.
4.) Watching a child throw a temper tantrum is like being forced to watch Rihanna, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Kesha and Lady Ga Ga on repeat for 2 hours straight. Absolute torture. Will someone please make it stop?
5.) Don't hold your pee. Especially if you are about to wait in line for 45 minutes and then go on a three minute roller coaster ride. I repeat. Not-a-good-idea.
6.) Mothers are crazy. Mothers at amusement parks are absofreakinlutely insane. I needed to use the restroom. The line was ginormous. I was patiently waiting when this tight jean, big haired, scrunchy wearing woman rushes past me with her mini me and enters the next available stall. Um, excuse me? Was I just skipped in the bathroom line. Yup, I was.
7.) You are never too old to take a picture with the fuzzy characters. Never. Scooby Doo, where are you?
8.) Wear sneakers. You may look like a touristy nerd, sure, but, your feet won't feel like you walked through a maze made of bricks for 30 hours (clearly, I never follow my own advice because my feet were sore. So, so, so very sore).
9.) In conjunction with the purchase of an amusement park pass everyone should get a complimentary stick of deodorant. I mean, come on, has anyone heard of a shower? Like, I don't even know where to begin.
10.) Ten year old little girls are hardcore. I was literally pushed by a little Asian girl in the line for the "Despicable Me" ride. Apparently she felt I wanted to take her place in line. She had the best "stank eye" I've ever seen in my life (if looks could kill). Note-to-self: Do not, under any circumstance, cross little Asian girls.
I can't even imagine what a trip to Magic Kingdom would be like. However, I am always up for a challenge. Babe, if you are reading this I know exactly where we should go next year. Mickey Mouse here I come.
xoxo
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