Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, friends! What a year 2014 has been. At the beginning of every new year I like to take a step back and reflect. Reflect on the past year and how much change my soul has endured in the last 365 days. 2014 has been the year of my life; I became a mother. It is almost too difficult to imagine that anything could ever compare.  How on Earth will any one thing from here on out top the moment I first laid eyes on my daughter?  How will any single day supersede the first day I spent alongside my little family of three? Is there anything that could outweigh the immense amount of love I felt for my husband, my best friend, my daughter's father the first time he held our sweet baby?

2015, you have some big shoes to fill.  Then amidst my reflection I realize that this new year can be better. You see, this year will be a year of many firsts.  My daughter's first birthday; my heart feels it may burst out of my chest at the mere thought of this.  And, how are we to forget that coincidentally my husband and I will be celebrating our first year as parents.  Our first year of sleepless nights, early mornings, and a first year filled with more love than one could ever imagine.

As individuals, my husband and I will each celebrate that inevitable milestone; the dreaded 30th birthday.  When I stop to think of the days ahead, what comes to mind is a fiery urge to be better, to do better.  Be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, and a better friend.  I want to love more and hurt less.  Ultimately, what I want is to fill my home with joy and an unlimited amount of love.  Be better, do better.  Sounds so simple, doesn't it? 

This year will be the year of "no excuses".  Here is to a year filled to the brim with happiness; for you, for me, for all of us.  

Xx

renata

Little Lady O is Five Months Old!

"Don't count the days, make the days count."

-Muhammad Ali

Since these posts are just a wee bit late, I feel there is some clarification needed on when little miss O turned five months old.  Baby O turned five months old on December 8th.  Goodness, where has the time gone.  Where is my squishy, sleepy little newborn?  There are moments I catch myself staring in awe at this little miracle God has blessed me with.  With all my might I try and hold on to these fleeting days.  Before I know it you will be a whole year old.  Let me not start to cry.  

Weight:  You haven't had a well-visit this month.  However, we do know that you are now weighing over 16 lbs (Yes, I bite your little rolls on a daily basis).  We don't know exactly how long you are measuring, but, your little footie sleepers have gotten a little tight and we can see how long you've gotten.

Eating:  At your 4 month check-up we were told it was okay to go ahead and feed you some rice cereal slash oatmeal.  Well, after lots of reading we decided not to do this and continue with our plan of exclusively feeding you breastmilk till  you are six months.  You continue to have 15 oz of expressed breastmilk at daycare and nurse on demand at home at night and on the weekends.  So far this has worked quite well for us and I could not be happier.

Little Extras:  This month you met your great grandpa (My maternal grandpa) and you loved him.  It was the most precious thing to see and I could not have been happier.  It is moments like this where I wish our family didn't live on a different continent.  So, we will soak in the time we have and hope for many more times to come.  You also have become an official roly-poly-wiggle worm.  You first started rolling over from your tummy to your back and now can roll from your back to your tummy.  It is the sweetest thing to watch and once you are done we have a full on celebration (You love all the attention).  Things at daycare were going fine till the Thanksgiving break.  I guess you spent too much time with your momma and when it was time to return to our normal routine you simply were not having it.  It's okay, it was only for a day.  Now you smile ear to ear whenever one of your teachers start to talk to you.  You are the youngest in your class and everyone loves up on you.  I can't say I blame them, you are the smushiest bug on the planet.

Being back at work for an entire month has been quite the ride.  It has made me appreciate the time we have together that much more.  It's not to say that it has been easy.  It hasn't  Yet, I know that this is for the best.  Your grandma said something to me the other day that really stuck.  She said, "It isn't about the quantity of time spent with your little one, but the quality of time."  Those words could not be more accurate.  When I am with you I am present, in the moment, soaking in all of your little features.  Even at this moment where you are taking your mid-morning nap on my bed I stop and stare at you.  I marvel at how perfect you are and how I could not fathom love this grand.  I love you monkey!

xx

Mummy

Little Lady O is Four Months Old!

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always.  As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

This mum has got to get with the program!  On January 8th you will be SIX months old (Insert surprise face here).  Obviously we have been having way too much fun and I am way behind on these posts, but, such is life.  It is a new year and I will try to be better, do better, etc.  So, here it goes my little love.

Weight:  On your four month well-visit you weighed in at 15 lbs 1 0z (My little chunkster) and measured 24.5 inches (My little munchkin).  Everyday you get more and more delicious.  It is hard to keep me from nibbling on those rolls.

Eating: During the day while you are at daycare (holding back momma tears) you take three five oz bottles every three hours.  When you are not at daycare you are exclusively breastfed on demand.  Sometimes you will go three hours between nursing and sometimes two and a half.  It makes me happy that we have been able to continue our journey breastfeeding as long as we have.  

Clothing: This really depends on the brand of the clothing.  Personally, I try not to have you wear anything too tight (We live in Florida after all).  I'd say that most of your clothing is either 6 M or 3-6 M.  

Sleeping:  Yeah, about that.  So, we entered the four month sleep regression at 12 weeks.  We haven't had any consistency with your sleep which has made for one tired momma.  There are nights where you wake up once, and then there are nights where you wake up  two to three times.  Usually it is easy to put you back down unless, usually.

Little extras:  My sweet baby your first day at daycare was on November 3rd, just a few days shy of your four month birthday.  Man, nothing could have prepared me for being apart from you for that long.  The day was hard on both you and me.  Yet, we made it through.  Of course there were a few hiccups but ultimately you adjusted.  They weren't kidding when they said that babies are resilient.  The second week was much better for you, but, not for me.  I think overall it will always be harder on me than you. 

Olivia, you are the light of my life and I fall more in love with you each and every day.  I never thought I believed in destiny.  Yet, there are no ifs or ands about it.  I was destined to be your mummy.  I love you!

Little Lady O is Three Months Old!

"Her little hands stole my heart.  Her little feet ran away with it."

(author unknown)

My sweet, sweet girl, you are three months old.  How quickly we have gotten here my love.  The days are filled with so much laughter, so much joy, so much love.  It is difficult to recall a time where you weren't a part of my life.  My darling, you have filled a void I didn't even know existed.  I look forward to the rest of my life with you.

I extended my maternity leave for an extra five weeks.  My heart aches at the thought of leaving you.  Going back to work was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made.  However, for the time being, this is the best decision for our family.  

So, here are your updates.  Though I have tried, and tried, and tried to write this post on your ACTUAL three month birthday, you had entirely different plans.  The last three weeks (Almost four) have been a whirlwind of chaos in the sleep department (More on that in a minute).  

Weight:  Since your next well-visit is only next month, I can't pinpoint exactly how much your chubbiness weighs.  However, a few weeks before you turned three months I took you to the pediatrician because I thought you had a stuffy nose (You didn't, first time mom paranoia at its finest).  During that visit the nurse weighed you and you were a whooping 13 lbs 14 oz.  I think it is safe to say that right at this moment you are most likely over 14 lbs.  My little chubby bunny, momma can't resist your rolls.

Eating:  The week you turned 11 weeks old your eating habits were turned up a notch.  All you wanted to do was eat, eat, eat.  We are still exclusively breastfeeding, but this momma can't wait to feed you solids (Am I crazy?).  You have also taken bottles of expressed breast milk in order to get you ready for your days away from me.  So far, so good.  

Clothing:  Honestly, it really depends on the brand of clothes.  So, you are in a range of 3 months clothing and 3 to 6 months clothing.  Dressing you is one of my most favorite thing to do.  Grandma said I treat you like a living doll.  Can you blame me, you are just too cute.  Even though you have the most adorable outfits, I've begun to notice that you prefer to be naked.  Mostly it's because you think you are going to take a bath.  You love bath time and recently you've started to kick your legs in order to splash.  The bigger the splash the bigger the smile.

Sleeping:  Remember when I mentioned that little lady O was an awesome sleeper?  Well, I totally jinxed myself.  For about 3 and a half weeks now, the little miss went from sleeping through the night to waking up EVERY three hours.  Yes, you read that correctly, every-three-hours.  I am hoping that this is a growth spurt and that we will return to our normal programming shortly.  Shortly as in tonight.  Yes, I have tried multiple things, giving her a pacifier, rubbing her belly, rocking her but none of that works.  You know what does work?  Nursing her.  She only resumes her slumber once she is finished filling her belly.  Last night she went down at 8:30 PM, at 9:40 PM she woke up (I had to feed her), she went down and woke up once again at around 1:00 AM (I had to feed her), then at 5:00 AM she was up once more (I had to feed her), and then she was up for the day at 7:00 AM.  I am afraid I am creating a bad sleeper.  Am I creating a bad sleeper?  Say a prayer for me, this momma needs some sleep.

Little Extras:  Her little coos have become full on babbling.  It is the sweetest thing to hear her make sounds.  I think she is pretty proud of herself because she gets excited whenever she does it.  Also, she gets louder and louder every single time (Which makes my heart melt).  Toys have also become very interesting.  They are no longer something to just look at, but, something to grab and take directly to her mouth.  My little munchkin is also FINALLY enjoying tummy time.  She doesn't love it, but she tolerates it, which is much better than before.  

Parent Moment:  This past Saturday was the VERY first time we went out on a date without our little bug.  It was a day date (Lunch and a movie), baby steps people, baby steps.  My mom gladly took on the role of babysitter which set my nerves at ease.  However, little Miss O was not happy about it at all.  It was almost as though she knew I wasn't with her; when we were getting ready to go out she immediately started pouting (It broke my heart!).  She cried and cried some more.  I almost, almost made my husband turn the car around and come home.  However, he and my mother both reassured me that everything would be okay and that she would be absolutely fine.  Which in the end she was.  My husband and I had a great time together.  Now that it is said and done, I wish we had done it sooner.  Perhaps, Olivia wouldn't have been such a fuss monkey had she been a little younger.  

Olivia, we love you more and more each day.  You are our sunshine, our moon, our stars, you are everything.  My little love I can't wait to see you grow and become a little lady.  You are such a sass and every day you make my heart so full it may burst.  I can't wait till next month!

xo

The scent of Fall.

Below is what Fall is supposed to look like.

Below is what Fall actually looks like, if you are a Floridian, which sadly, I am.

Oh, the days of summer have finally ended.  Fall fanatics have grabbed September by the horns, excitedly welcoming all things Fall, which, if you are on the trendy train means all things pumpkin.  Don't get me wrong, I was once a happy passenger on that cinnamon, pumpkin, caramel scented locomotive.  Not anymore, friends.  Not anymore.  My days of pumpkin "errrthang" are over. 

Last Fall I was entirely too giddy about filling my home with pumpkin smelling everything.  Well, if I am being honest I filled my house with all scents associated with Fall.  Caramel, Caramel Latte, Caramel Brûlée, Pumpkin, Pumpkin Spice, you get the picture.  This was September.  The only thing I refused to do was consume those amazingly delicious pumpkin spiced lattes from Starbucks.  Have you seen the color of that latte? Yeah, I can't even imagine what that does to your insides.  No-thank-you.  

Since I couldn't actually enjoy the "real" Fall.  You know, red and orange leaves, chilly weather, basically New England in a nutshell, I figured I could turn my home into a Fall sanctuary.  September was followed by October.  And in this spooktacular (Ya like what I did there?) month I found out I was pregnant.  On the sixth week of my pregnancy morning sickness threw me for a spin.  My Fall scented home became my worst enemy.  

Now, it is as though my brain has permanently associated Fall and vomit (So very sad!).  Pumpkin, barf.  Caramel, barf.  Cinnamon, double barf.  Anything and everything that smells sickly sweet gives me the urge to rush to the restroom and stick my head in the toilet.  Excessive?  Sure, but it is absolutely true. 

So, here I am, permanently disembarking the Festive Fall Train.  Here I am, brokenhearted, knowing that I can no longer peruse the Fall scented aisles of Bath and Body Works.  Here I am, saying farewell, goodbye, au devoir, ciao.  Perhaps, one day we shall meet again.  Till next time.  For now, where is winter?

xo

Little Lady O is Two Months Old!

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”

Garrison Keillor

Happy two months, my sweet little one!  

As of September 8, 2014 my bundle of joy is two months old.  Two whole months.  Goodness, I'm going to blink twice and she will be in college, two more blinks and she will be married (Lets not talk about that now).  It is incredible how much change has occurred in such a short period of time.  I am so blessed to be her momma.  Whenever I get a few moments alone (Those times are extremely rare these days) I thank our Heavenly Father for blessing me with such a perfect being.  She is absolutely perfection.  Her daddy and I could not love her more.  Here are her updates.

Weight:  At her two month well check our little lady weighed in at 11 lbs 1 oz.  We are all loving her extra thigh rolls.  And those cheeks!  Oh-my-goodness, my husband comes home and asks me all the time, "Have you bitten our daughter yet?"  If you don't know, I have a tiny problem with biting squishy babies.  I have assured him that all I have done is kiss, kiss, kiss.  Maybe, just maybe I have nibbled on her little arm rolls.  Maybe.

Eating:  Our little chunky monkey would eat all day long if I allowed her.  Currently, I am under the impression that our little bug is going through a growth spurt.  During the day she is eating anywhere between every two to every three hours.  There are days where she can only go one hour and a half between a nursing session.  Those days our little lady is so hungry that she will scream her head off if I don't feed her right-that-very-second.  She rarely screams, except of course when she is hungry.  It is difficult to say how many ounces she is eating since we are breastfeeding.  However, the last time she took a bottle  of expressed breastmilk, it contained about 4 oz.  Once she starts baby school, also known as "daycare" (sigh) I will have a better notion of how much she is consuming.  My goal is to pump for daycare and nurse her when I am home.  

Clothing:  As soon as the doctor announced we were having a little girl all I could think of was, "Bows, shoes, dresses, and more bows".  Thank God for my mother.  She put the brakes on the shopping and let me know that babies grow quite quickly.  So, I didn't go crazy buying too many newborn pieces.  Olivia has been in 0-3 months for most of these last few weeks.  However, just the other day her little leopard 0-3 month onesie wouldn't button.  I looked at her, smiled, and held back a tear.  I'm so incredibly happy she is growing and healthy.  Yet, why is the time going by so quickly? The dilemma.

Sleeping:  Let's just say that I am one very happy momma.  Schedules give me a bit of anxiety.  So, in order not to stress any one of us out, we are kind of letting Olivia do her own thing (For now).  However, we may have fallen into an accidental routine.  Completely accidental, but, it works.  This is what is working for us, at the moment, because babies are unpredictable little creatures.  My husband and I give Olivia a bath every night.  You may disagree, but, we were both given baths every night and are just fine.  I have found that Olivia is much more relaxed after her bath.  Surprisingly, she loves bath time.  We keep her bath time between 7:00-7:30 PM.  After bath time I nurse her, place her in the beloved rock and play, and let her fall asleep.  This allows that little time to finish dinner and actually eat it.  Sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she just naps. Lately, she will fall asleep in her rock and play at around 9:30 and we will bring her up to our room to sleep in the pack and play at around 10:00-10:30 PM.  I'll check her diaper and place her in her halo sleep sack (She loves that thing).  The time she wakes up varies from 5:30 AM, to 6:30 AM, and most recently 7:30 AM (YAY!).  The days she woke up at 5:30 AM she would normally go back to sleep at around 6:00 and wake up anytime between 8:30-9:00 AM.  It has varied.  This isn't to say that she hasn't fussed at least once throughout the night.  We decided it was okay to give her a pacifier (lifesaver) and so, if she fusses I'll take a pause, give her the pacifier, and wait.  If she just turns and falls back asleep I know she isn't hungry and I will fall back asleep as well.  We haven't transitioned her to her crib and I'm not sure when that time will be.  I'm crossing my fingers that when the time comes, it will be smooth and easy.  Considering the pack and play is a flat open space much like her crib, I'm hoping it doesn't cause much trouble.  Wish us luck!  

Today I was even able to get my smush to laugh out loud (It was so quick and sudden that I couldn't believe it).  I tried desperately for an encore, but, she was determined to ONLY give me gummy grins and little squeals (It's okay, I love those too!).  Tummy-time is quite entertaining these days.  She much prefers to be on her back than on her belly.  However, we still put in the work.  

At the end of the month our time lounging around without a care in the world will come to an end.  My heart aches whenever I think that I won't be with her the majority of the day.  We'll talk about that later.  Today, this hour, this minute is my favorite.  I am soaking up all the love I can.  Because I know that in the mornings when she sees my face her smile is as big as mine.  

xo

Oh, me? I'm doing fine.

It has been 10 weeks (And one day), 71 days, 1,704 hours, 102,240 minutes, 6,134,400 seconds since the day I met my little love.  Translation?  It has been a little over two months since I've become a momma.  It has been the best two months of my life.  The best, most challenging, exhausting, frustrating, thrilling, amazing 71 days of my 28 years of life.  And, even though just today I was squirted with poop as I was changing a stinky diaper, I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Now, life with a newborn is similar to that of a chicken running around with its head cut off. A chicken that gets pooped on, puked on, and sleeps, actually scratch that, DOESN'T sleep.  Life.is.rough.  If you are one of the lucky ones you may sleep.  Just don't tell the rest of the new momma population.  Unless of course you want to get the stank eye of the century.  True story.  

 Let me get to the point.  When I was pregnant I read countless blogs on what the postpartum life would look like.  Even though I may not have followed all of the suggestions (Trust me, you eventually find what works for YOU) it was nice to have an overview.  Which is what I am going to gift to you.  A guideline of sorts as to how to maneuver the messy world of life after baby.  Well, at least in the newborn stage, because quite frankly I have no idea what the next stage entails.  Like I said, I'm no expert, I've only been doing this thing for 71 days.  

Here it goes, folks.

Take showers.  No, seriously, take a shower, take a bath, and make it a daily occurrence. Blog after blog, after blog I kept reading how being a new mom kept you from bathing.  The idea of not being able to take a bath gave me anxiety.  There was no way, no how that I could go a day without showering. Nope, nope, and nope.  Sure, there are people that can go without bathing.  I am not one of those people.  If we are being honest, I am more of a two shower a day kind of girl.  Cutting down to one shower was difficult enough.  Not showering?  It just wasn't going to happen.  Even if you are in there for only five minutes it will make a world of difference (I promise you).  I am a whole new woman after a shower.  Plus, spit-up is spit-up.  Even though it comes from a baby it still smells.  If you don't want to smell rancid, I suggest you take a shower.  Like I said, five minutes can do wonders.

Sleep when you can.  Sleep.  Everyone will tell you, sleep when the baby sleeps.  I'm here to tell you that sleeping when the baby sleeps is challenging. You see, there is absolutely nothing sweeter than a sleeping baby.  In hindsight I should probably not have spent all that time staring at my sleeping baby.  I should have slept.  My husband is a small business owner and was unable to take time off when Olivia was born.  Other than the few days after we came home from the hospital, off to work he went.  I was home alone with a newborn.  A newborn who had her nights and days completely confused.  However, instead of sleeping during the day when she actually would sleep, I would stay up and stare at her pretty face.  Ludicrous, I know.  You really have no idea how much sleep is important until you aren't sleeping.  After about a week of zero sleep I became delirious.  Zombie-mom?  That was me.  And as quick as that came it went.  To ensure that I would get at least three hours of uninterrupted sleep my husband and I came up with a plan.  After Olivia's nine o'clock feeding I would hand her over to her daddy, run upstairs, take a shower (You know how important that is to me), and go to bed.  At midnight my husband would bring her upstairs and our nightly routine would begin once again.  I am happy to say that we are sleeping much, much better.  Thank you, Jesus.

The cami with a built-in-bra.  Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart.  It can be quite difficult.  Even if the breastfeeding Gods are on your side, it is still a challenge.  Nursing bras, nursing pads, nipple cream, nipple gel, breastfeeding pump, it can all become overwhelming.  If I could do one thing, one-single-thing, it would be to burn my nursing bras.  I truly disliked everything about the nursing bra.  Everything.  So, I went and bought myself a ton of cami's with the built-in-bra.  For me this worked perfectly.  I wear them underneath all of my clothes and when I have to nurse I just pull up my shirt, pull down the cami and ta-da, done.  Plus, it keeps my belly covered, which is a major win in my book.  I'm perfectly okay with nursing in public, having my belly exposed, not just yet.  We are getting there.  Also, the cami with the built-in-bra doesn't have these little snaps and clips.  Snaps and clips drive a woman bonkers when her baby is screaming because the boob is there but she just can't have it. 

Subscribe to Netflix.  This may seem completely irrelevant.  However, in the beginning you will be feeding your sweet little bundle of joy constantly, regardless of which way you choose to do so.  If you choose to breastfeed you may have a little nugget that wants to nurse all-the-time.  Those first few weeks were all about nursing on demand and those sessions could last quite some time.  Having Netflix kept me entertained and awake (My biggest fear was falling asleep while nursing).  Friday Night Lights kept me up during those hours where sweet little Olivia wanted to nurse every hour on the hour for twenty plus minutes at a time.  You can't really do much while you are nursing, so, why not binge watch your favorite television show.  My current favorite?  Parenthood, which is so, so appropriate.

Go out.  Believe me, there will come a time where you will WANT to get out of the house.  It may not be during the first week, or the second week, maybe not even the third week. Give it some time and then make your way off the couch and into the sunshine.  I was terribly afraid of taking out Olivia on my own.  Then one morning I really wanted Starbucks and there was not a single person who could bring my latte to me.  My inner voice just told me to do it.  I got up, took a shower, got dressed, nursed Olivia (I wanted to prevent any hysterics) and off we went.  It was only through the drive-thru but it made me realize that it was okay to venture out into public.  Her first real outing was to Target.  However, my husband was with me so that doesn't count.  Seriously though, go out.  If you want to keep your sanity take a walk on the wild side and go for a spin.  Just don't over do it.  If you are exhausted, take a nap, that adventure can wait for another time.

Patience.  There were nights where I thought I may lose my sweet mind.  Sleep deprivation can do that to you.  A part of me felt like I would never sleep again (I cried).  Yet, as the days went by we fell into a routine.  She started sleeping for longer intervals and slowly my mind and body began to feel more like the old me.  It didn't happen over night.  Be patient and remember, this too shall pass.

Mostly, just enjoy this time with your little one.  The life with a newborn is a chaotic but beautiful one.  I would relive all those first days with my little over and over again (This may be the lack of sleep speaking).  You will be frustrated.  You will question your ability as a mother.  You will feel like screaming.  Then your sweet one will fall asleep on a full belly, you'll get into bed, and wake up five hours later to the realization that your child ALMOST slept through the night.  You'll do a happy dance and get back into bed hoping she sleeps just a little-bit-longer.  She wakes up five minutes later, but it's okay, you are making progress.  It is all about that one-day-at-a-time thing people keep telling you about.

xo