You Know You're a Momma When...
Welcome to the second installment of "You Know You're a Momma When..." Should you feel inclined, you may read the first installment here. Think about a day where you were really exhausted, now multiply that by a bajillion and three, plus two. That is motherhood.
This mom thing, well, it ain't for the faint-of-heart. But when I think about the days before jumping on the crazy train, I feel a massive void. This little girl has filled my life with so much happiness, so much joy, so much love (and so much crazy) that I could not fathom life without her. It has also provided for quite the entertainment. When I start to think that things cannot get any wonkier, they do.
Without further ado, you know you're a momma when...
(1) You can carry on a serious conversation about poop, boogers, and vomit without batting an eye. In the course of a year I have been exposed to more bodily fluids than my almost 30 years of life on Earth. Pooped on? Yes. Peed on? Yes. Puked on? Yes. I've also picked my daughter's boogers while eating spaghetti (No shame). Needless to say, n-o-t-h-i-n-g grosses you out.
(2) You have bruises up and down your legs from bumping into furniture in the middle of the night. For some reason I think I can navigate in pitch-dark with my eyes closed. For the record, I can't. I've got the bruise(s) to prove it. Still, I do this every morning around 5 AM when Liv wakes up to nurse. I-just-don't-learn.
(3) Your idea of a wild Friday night is pizza, wine, clean pajamas, and sleeping past midnight. Actually, who the 'eff am I kidding I can't make it past ten. And, honestly, I'm not complaining. (I also wrote about this before, but #mombrain)
(4) What you really want for your birthday is to sleep past 8 AM in a blacked out room, with the air conditioner set at 74 degrees fahrenheit, and someone to bring you waffles and coffee around the clock at the snap of your finger (or the ring of a bell, or a scream,whatever works).
(5) Your toddler looks like she could have jumped out of a Baby Gap catalog when you haven't brushed your hair in three days because #priorities.
(6) You sit down and think, "Finally, relaxation!" only to remember that you haven't emptied out your daughter's lunchbox, and you've already turned on the dishwasher, and you're too tired to hand wash them. Oh-em-gee.
You know you're a momma when you are a permanent passenger of the 'Hot Mess Express' and all you've got to say about it is, "Choo! Choo!"
Come back next week for the next installment of "You Know You're a Momma When..." and if you have your own crazy story, please share!
xx
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