You know You're a Momma When....

Being a momma comes with a whole slew  of things I never thought possible.  For example:

You know you're a momma when....

.1. Privacy no longer exists in your world. You pee, you poop, and you shower with an audience.  All.the.time. Oh, and let's not forget that you must entertain said audience at all times, no matter the circumstance.  It doesn't matter that the avocado chicken quesadilla didn't sit well with your stomach.  You HAVE to sing "The Wheels on the Bus" for the 1,000th time unless you are prepared for tears.

.2. A really nice present isn't a Tory Burch  tote, but 8 hours of consecutive, uninterrupted sleep.  Sleeping in till 8:30? Well, that's a bonus!

.3. You cry every time you see a Rogaine commercial, because you know that postpartum hair loss is real.  You've lost so much hair that you fear your scalp won't ever recover. Bald isn't a good look for you, so, you cry some more.

.4. You've left the house only to realize you didn't put on deodorant and your hair looks more like a birds nest than a chic, effortlessly done, messy bun.  You do  this on more than one occasion, in the same week.

.5. You walk around wondering what that awful, terrible, sour, no-good smell is only to realize it's you.  The little one spit up on you five hours ago and you still haven't changed. You realize it's in your hair, and you cry.

.6. You spend an hour at Target, fill up your cart, get to the cashier, pull out the diaper bag and realize your wallet isn't there. It is at home, on the kitchen counter, waiting for you to place it in said diaper bag.  You apologize profusely, blame it on mommy brain, and skidaddle.   You've done this twice; you just don't learn.

.7. You take off your socks before your shower and throw them in the trash can instead of the hamper (yes, this really happened).

.8.  You cannot remember what you had for lunch, three hours ago, but if asked about your child's last bowel movement you can recall the time, color, texture, and approximate amount; you don't even flinch when asked.

.9. You get a manicure on Tuesday only to have your nails chip on Wednesday. Bottle washing will be the death of my cuticles. 

.10. A wild night NOW consists of staying up past midnight, watching Empire on demand with your husband, all while folding five hundred loads of laundry.

You know you're a momma when you have the most chaotic of days and miss your little one while they sleep.  You sit there and stare at their angelic face and wonder how you've made it this far in life without feeling this kind of love.  You have no idea how you made it through the day, yet, you'd do it all over again, without hesitation.  Because being a mother is more wonderful than you could ever have fathomed.  You are exactly where you are meant to be.

xo

Renata