Hello, rubber Ducky.

"I'm gonna go take a hot shower.  It's like a normal shower, but with me in it."

Source

A bath, a shower, I do not care what you call it, or how you do it, just DO IT!  This girl, she takes two showers.  TWO SHOWERS!  Do you hear me non-showering women of the universe?  One in the morning and one at night (sometimes I take three, depending on my mood).  So, that is ONE person, who takes more than ONE shower, EVERY day.  Let me repeat.  I TAKE A SHOWER EVERY SINGLE DAY!  On-the-other-hand, some of you, do not shower at all?  I cringe at the thought.  CRINGE.

Yes, you read it correctly.  There are some of you out there that do not shower on a regular basis.  There are some of you that go days without showering?  Can I get an ew?  I know, what in the world.  Is it a trend?  Is "stank" the new "Chanel"?  Please say it-isn't-so!  And, yet, the more I find myself scrolling blog after blog, I realize that "no showering" is the latest fab.  

And, let me just say, that for the mere purpose of hygiene, that is nasty (said in Cleveland's voice).  N-A-S-T-Y.  Okay, so you are little Miss. Stinky, do you really need to share that with the internet universe?  Over-sharing in this case, is just that, over-sharing.  If you write it for laughs, well, we are laughing at you, not with you.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!  Because truly, when I read that you sometimes forget when the last time it was you showered, it makes me want to gag.  It also makes me wonder if you are the girl that walked past me this morning smelling like a bag of onions.  Actually, let me rephrase that, an old bag of onions. 

And if you must choose between a morning or a night shower, choose the night, no one wants a stinky bed.  Grab your soap and rub-a-dub-dub!

xx