Romeo, Echo, November, Alpha, Tango, Alpha.

Lately, for no apparent reason my mind wanders to the Starbucks baristas.  Who are these baristas?  What are their ultimate life goals?  Is there such a thing as a professional barista?  Does it matter if their spelling is less than superb?  I have taken many trips to the coffee land known as Starbucks.  In all my trips never has a barista been capable of spelling my name correctly.  Not once.  Not ever.  Renata, it's not like its hard, dudes.  It pretty much goes the same way every-single-time.  The barista says, "And what is your name?".  I respond, clearly, loudly, enunciating every letter "My name is, R-E-N-A-T-A".  The look they give me is priceless.  For what seems like a minute (it's more like a second) the barista pauses and stares at me.  Stares at me as if to say, "Um, come again?". I say my name two, three, sometimes four other times.  Then they usually say something crazy like, "Oh, that is such a pretty name".  When I realize what they have written down, I think, they thought THIS was pretty.  Oh lawdy! And, the end result is always the same.  It's never Renata.  There have been real hilarious ones.  My top favorites are Granada and Ronaldo (WTF! I am pretty sure I look like a girl, no?).  I grab my latte and my eyes go straight to their chicken scratch.  I can not wait to see what they believe I am called.  It is always quite hilarious to see what name they come up with.  So, I've devised a fool proof plan.  Fool proof ladies and gents.  Next time the barista incapable of spelling asks for my name, I am going to bust out the phonetic alphabet.  I will look them in the eyes and in my straightest of faces I will say, "Renata, Romeo, Echo, November, Alpha, Tango, Alpha".  Get it, got it, good!  Who am I kidding.  Knowing the probabilities the barista will probably still jot down, "Grenalda".  Who in the world would name their child Grenalda?  Don't even say it, you would not dare bring such embarrassment to your offspring.  Would you?

xoxo