"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
-Steve Maraboli
More often than not I felt an obligation to hold on, to everything. It was never the idea of letting go that scared me. It was the overwhelming, consuming notion that somehow I had not done enough. I HAD NOT TRIED. I HAD LET IT CRUMBLE. I, I, I. You see, in the back of my mind I felt that if things were going wrong, clearly, I was the one to blame. As if I held the power to control the behavior of others. Sure, there were things that I could have done differently. Hindsight is in fact 20/20. Yet, what I had not truly understood, perhaps my heart did not want to understand, is that a friendship is not a one way street. And, if I can take responsibility then so should you. There will forever be a part inside of me, the part that wants to hold on to the little girl I once was, that refuses to release the hold. The tight grasp I have on those moments are simply hard to release. Then it dawned on me. Those memories are mine, always, forever, till the world is no more. Not a single action will take those sweet memories from me. And, amidst this clarity, I came upon the realization, some people just grow apart. It is that simple. Those days spent surrounded by laughter, by giggles and love, will never be forgotten. My heart will ache each and every time I hear that song. Yet, right now, today, maybe, it's just not our time. And, that is okay. Because I will cherish our moments. I will carry them with me. I will honor their significance. I will wish you well. I will remember you on your birthday. I will look up into the sunshine and smile that once you were my friend. It isn't goodbye, it's till next time. Because, one day, I know, we will find our way to each other again.
xoxo
Okay, beautiful much?!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, girl, that was so beautifully written, huge kudos to you.
And, okay, hoooold up--
Are we, like, bloggy kindred spirits or something? I saw your pic of Josh i.e. PACEY 4EVA ZOMG (bwah!) on the right, and DUUUUDE. I've loved Josh since, like, the Mighty Ducks movies, I kid you not.
I loved him back when no one knew who he was ('cause, you know, I'd have to clarify and say "He's Charlie from the Ducks movies, he's the team captain!") (...hee!) and then Dawson's Creek happened and became a hit sensation and EVERYONE knew Pacey/Josh, and I was all, "Hmph, back OFF beeyotches, I loved him before anyone knew who he was!"
:P
Anyway, long story short, I think you and your blog are awesome (read your About Me section) and: consider yourself followed!
Nice post...Very well put.
ReplyDelete